Life in the Pattyverse

I Think I Missed Something: Reviewing Red Tails

2012-01-21T10:32:00.000-08:00

Last night, I was happily invited along to join my friend Steph and her husband Ryan to watch a screening of Red Tails at the Fox Studios Lot.

Geek out moment: The lot is AWESOME! My inner tourist wanted to run around every where snapping pictures of Moe's Cafe, the fake New York(?) street, the giant murals painted everywhere. SO.COOL. But I knew I had to keep my shit together, so I just walked around in awe grinning from ear to ear while trying to not look too eager. I'm gonna have to find a way to go visit friends who work there.

Going into the movie, I was very excited. Coming out of the movie, I was bummed at how disappointed I was.

To set the record straight, yup, I'm a white chick. Yup, I'm ignorant about a lot of history. But somehow, I was raised to know injustice when I see it, to believe that we are all equal, and that there is an infinite amount of power in the art of storytelling so that it connects us all. Storytelling is such a powerful tool, and when you use it to pay tribute to someone, to educate people who know nothing about another person's struggle, you're using it to help connect to something bigger than the individual. Personally, whether fictional or not, I want to see how we come out alive, how we survive, how we become better people. So when I walk into Red Tails, I want to know that George Lucas has spared no expense in the effects, or in the writing, the editing, or the casting. I want to know he hired a fantastic crew and cast to tell the story of the Tuskegee Airmen.

I felt like George Lucas produced a fairy tale. Here's the Bad Guy. Here are the Good Guys. Here's their struggle. Here's every shot clean and beautiful and glossy. Here's the Happy Ending. It felt like watching the Special Edition of Star Wars - every thing was so sharp and crisp and clean, it no longer felt real. Yes, I know Star Wars is fantastical, but man did you feel like every single atom in the movie was textured, layered, and palpable. It's part of what drew me into the universe and the struggle of the characters.

I loved the cast, even if they were given some badly written lines. I especially loved David Oyelowo, as Joe "Lightning" Little. But did every word out of Terrence Howard's mouth have to sound like an epic moment with the music swelling, each and every time? The action sequences were really great to watch, especially the train blowing up. But did every set up of a fight have to feel so campy?

I didn't feel like war was hell unless we were in battle in the movie. But I thought every moment was hell. I thought soldiers fought every day, every moment to feel human in the indignities of battle. I feel like Lucas poured a hell of a lot of money into giving us a glossed over, pretty version of the experience of The Tuskegee Airmen and the men they fought to protect.

I don't know - I feel conflicted. I wanted to love this movie. I wanted to feel proud of the homage paid to our WW2 vets. I wanted to know that I saw historical facts in play, and that I could learn and relate through the experiences of our protagonists. But maybe I'm over thinking it all. Maybe, if I really wanted to learn something, I should just get off my ass and do some research my damn self and just enjoy the entertainment in front me. Maybe if I'm looking to be moved by the subject matter at hand, I should just watch The Tuskegee Airmen with Laurence Fishburne from 1995. (Which Cuba Gooding Jr. was also in). I just feel that Lucas produced a bad film, and it's such a shame when the stories, the people, the situations are so rich in every element. The Tuskegee Airmen did so much for our country, I feel that they are owed at the very least, from my world of Storytellers, the best job that can be done of sharing an amazing story.

Did I miss the boat? Was I supposed to know that I was watching a fairy tale from the very beginning? If that's the case, I still think something was amiss in the execution of said fairy tale.

Go see it and tell me what you think.

Ooh, More Trailers

2012-01-11T20:54:00.000-08:00

I got a lot of war-type movies going on for this post. These movies are all about the highest stakes and what the characters have to do to survive, physically and mentally. War is hell, right?

1. Wrath of the Titans - I actually watched the Clash of the Titans remake last summer, and I gotta say, I really liked it. It was much better than I had thought, it was a good script. I'm excited to see what comes of this movie.

2. The Hunger Games - I can't wait to reread the books. I can't wait to see the movies. I really hope they don't screw it up, but this preview shows a lot of promise. This story is an intense one. I'm pretty sure that'll I'll be sitting on the edge of my seat, even though I know how it all ends. Eeeee!

3. Red Tails - I would be excited about this film no matter who was involved. I'm even more excited to see it now that my dad has met two Tuskegee Airmen. I get chills watching this. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be an emotional wreck at the end. "We fight!"

4. Coriolanus - As a fan of Shakespeare, Ralph Fiennes, and Gerard Butler. I'm in. This ShakesNerd is eager to see this great cast be exceptional.

5. Act of Valor - I came across this trailer when I was at the cheap theater awhile ago. I had never seen or heard anything about it until then. What compels me most is that they're not using "actors", they're using active Navy Seals. I'm intrigued to see what comes of this combination.

Tripping Out on These Trailers

2011-12-20T22:48:00.000-08:00

Some pretty exciting Trailers have been coming out recently. I have to say, I have always loved watching trailers when I go to the theater. And I've been known to while away some time over at the Apple Trailers page or IMDB's preview page. When I go into a theater, I squee with excitement when it's a really awesome movie coming. I always comment after each one, so whomever I'm with has to put up with my dorkiness.

In order of Squeeness, I give you my 5 currently favorite Trailers.

1. The Hobbit

I hate waiting.... But I'm SO excited!!

2. The Expendables 2

Fuck yeah. That's all I have to say. Fuck yeah.

3. The Dark Knight Rises

"When Gotham is ashes - you have my permission to die."

4. G.I. Joe Retaliation

This looks way better than the first one. WAY. BETTER. Maybe it's because Dwayne Johnson's in it, and I pretty much love watching that man on the big screen.

5. Men in Black 3

I might get a lot of flak for this, but hey, so far it looks as fun as the original two. I'm in.

Some of you may be wondering, "what about The Avengers? What about Snow White and the Huntsman? What about...?" And yeah, I'm excited about those as well. But, these are the current beauties, so we'll leave it with that. This was fun. I might just do this again.

It's Snowing Muppets!

2011-12-20T09:37:00.001-08:00

My friends over at Pop Culture Monster, got a treat from The Muppets! As they sadly have to wait for The Muppets to hit UK & Irish theaters in February, they were given an activity pack to help them get through the wait.

Visit their post here, and you can download a whole bunch of Muppets! You'll be able to print out pages to color, mazes, and stencils to make your own Muppet Snowflakes, as well as rings to go around your Christmas Tree or your Hanukkah Mantle. (Forgive the ignorant goy. I'm pretty sure you don't want to hang them around the menorah, right?).

So the above picture is my attempt at the snowflakes. I know it's not the best lighting, but it looks like Muppets snowing in the backyard. Yay! Animal turned out the best, Fozzie and Kermit weren't as good. My only regret is that I can't spent the whole day making more.

Happy Holidays!

My Dad Was on TV! He's so famous.

2011-11-30T09:41:00.001-08:00

Back in September, my dad made an appearance on a public access show called, "Living Longer, Living Better." They were taping a Veteran's Day episode and were fortunate it enough to have two Tuskegee Airmen join them, as well as my dad, (served on the USS Bon Homme Richard and another man who served aboard the USS Hornet.

Dad, aka Stephen T. Robinson, to all you folk, served his country from 1968 to 1971. He's very proud of his contribution. He was a boiler tender - he endured quite a lot of heat, to say the least. I'm very proud of him as well. I love hearing his stories about his experiences on board. Sometimes it's hard for me to process it all, so I take it in smaller chunks. (Kinda like if my mom wanted to tell me more about working in insurance. Or if Rocky wanted to tell me what it's like working in a TV studio as an Engineer, (he knows and does SO much!) I like hearing the experiences, but the technicalities sometimes just float on by). *kind pat of understanding*

Aww, isn't he handsome?

Dad's Caption: "I'm the one with his elbow hanging over, just above the K in deck. We're watching the Miss USA ladies wave at other ships."

As far as the show goes, I feel like the host didn't know what she was getting into, when she interviewed the Tuskegee Airmen. Boy, did I want to hear all that they had to say. I want at least a whole hour with them. From what Dad said, LeRoy is a firecracker. Dad was able to get their autographs and talked with them a bit. He was tickled, to say the least. Dad's in the second half of the interview, and he and his mustache do a fine job on screen. Ha! I'm also proud of him, in that he was himself. Truly, that's the hardest thing for me to be on camera! He wasn't frozen, he was calm, and came across really nicely. He's a natural at being natural.

To note, Rocky did the voiceover for the show, and I'm pretty sure he did the editing. He probably even did some camera work. I don't know, he's all over the place with his talents and technical abilities. Let me tell you this, if you want someone to help out in any production for TV or film - you best want Rocky Robinson on your team. Okay, back to Dad and the show....

Enjoy!

Living Longer - Living Better Show 01 from Peninsula TV on Vimeo.

Things I Learned At Comikaze Expo

2011-11-27T13:42:00.000-08:00

I admit that I started to write this the day after I went to Comikaze Expo. I also admit that I then became distracted by lots of shiny objects, a pursuit of employment, Thanksgiving and many other things. Don't judge. I finally did it, and I am pleased.

This past weekend I was lucky enough to attend Comikaze Expo's debut. The cast & crew of Awkward Embraces was asked to be on a panel, and we accepted! That meant I was extended a pass to attend the whole event. Wooo! All in all, a good time was had. Aside from a few inconveniences, (floor plan a little wonky, announcements that sounded like Charlie Brown's teacher), I would consider it a success. I look forward to the next year.

So here's what I learned. If I were you, I'd remember this for your next Con.

-Take Pictures

Lady Steam and Her Beau

Whether you use your phone or a nifty digital camera, take pictures. Even if you don't think you'll post the picture later, take it anyway. Half the fun is walking around and snapping pics with your favorite cosplayers. No, I didn't know them all of the costumes/characters, but it was still fun. My biggest regret? I never snapped a picture of a wee little Ghostbuster, complete with wee little proton pack. There were also several wee Captain Americas. Come to think of it, I believe the toddler cosplayers were my favorite.

He's Got a Towel, Now Jessica has try to Not Panic

-Budget Accordingly

Cool Stuff Here

Luckily, Comikaze believes in an inexpensive ticket price. ($12) But then there's the parking at the Convention Center ($12), the over-priced food, and most importantly - THE STUFF! So if you're on a limited budget like I currently am, bring your lunch, carpool, walk, take public transportation, so you can your monies for important things - LIKE COOL STUFF!

-Find Your Twitter Friends/A Con is Like a Big Party
Both days I came by the con all by myself, as I was staying in Manhattan Beach. When I walked in to the convention center, I was lost in a sea of people. And even though I had a map and Jessica texted me where she was, I couldn't find her! I couldn't enjoy the spirit of wandering around when I didn't have anybody to wander around with. But then, I found her:

And then, I found these lovely people:

That's right, I found the interchangeable Sarah Kuhn and Jenn from JustJenn Designs at the table for the League of Extraordinary Women. It was like coming home.

Once that all fell into place, it was like walking around a giant party all weekend. You find someone, you chit chat, you move on to the next panel and mingle some more.

And you know what else is great?
The panels I attended were always filled with friends.

It must have due to the fact that Jessica was on 5 panels, (and she even got pulled onto a 6th!), good people attract more good people, ya know. That's a fact.

Here are some pics from the Star Trek Q& A Jessica got to moderate. Garrett Wang was the first to join her.

The audience was packed just to hear the stories from Garrett, as well as Celeste Yarnell and Bobby Clark

-Being on a Panel is FUN!

I admit to being nervous, but really, I was sitting a great group of friends. We're all goofballs and dorks. I think the Awkward Embraces fans were pleased.

A Friendly Audience!

Jessica & Our Lovely Moderator Stephanie Thorpe

Steven, Lyndsey, and I Try Really Hard to be Sexy.

Candis Only Looks Nervous

I wish our panel had been longer, it went by way too fast. Somebody else get us on a panel so we can regale you all with our hilarious hijinks. Please?

I also got a chance to find Twitter friends I had never yet seen in person. Bonnie Burton, Andre the Black Nerd, David Nett, and Taryn O'Neil. That's a thrill let me tell you. Silly me, I didn't get pictures with everyone. (See? Take Pictures!) But I did take a pic or two of Andre:

Two days of walking around with friends is just plain fun. It's why I like a good party, I'm a social butterfly, what can I say?

@chrissypedia, @TheBDAG, @Spytap, @ladimcbeth, @TheStephThorpe, @JenniferLanda, @SizzlerKistler

-Don't Take Yourself Seriously
I think a Con is just supposed to be fun, whether you're a fan, a Super Star, or a Co-Producer for a webseries. I think Comikaze Expo really allowed people to have fun on every level. Allow yourself to geek out whether you're on a panel, you're in the audience, or you're having lunch with your troupe of friends.

Barrett is Hotter Than Ever

My Dad Envies This Mustache

Beth and Her Sexy Polar Bear

A Workshop With Christine Lahti

2011-11-24T13:05:00.000-08:00

Tuesday night I was lucky enough to participate in a workshop with Christine Lahti. Actor Nerves were all a fright, as I haven't done any scene workshops in awhile. It appears that it went smoothly. I have to remember to write down the nice comments I receive when I act. It's always a nice reminder that I am good at it.

Anywhoo, please read what my friend Lynette wrote about that night. She took pics of the event, and there I am! Oooh.

Privatsky Insight: Director Christine Lahti: Working with Actors: Last night the Alliance of Women Directors held another super informative event. The featured presenter/ speaker was Christine Lahti. She di...

Photoshoot with Lemmywinks the Cat

2011-11-04T16:32:00.000-07:00

Lemmywinks is a faithful sun worshiper. He follows its sunbeams around the house, making sure to fully bask at all times. The other day, I couldn't help but take a few pics of him soaking it all up. I think the best one was what I posted the other day. I'm going to share the other pics from that impromptu shoot. Enjoy!

Pics were all taken with my Droid 2 R2D2 Phone.

Sunshine Is Good For You

2011-11-02T09:49:00.001-07:00

Lemmywinks never fails to get his required amount of Vitamin D. He faithfully keeps to his daily appointments at my room's Sun Spa.

Blissful Bugaboo

2011-10-29T18:47:00.001-07:00

Put It In The Bag, Bump Bump

2011-10-28T17:21:00.000-07:00

In this current journey of mine, (which is to get back on track with my life - O, Woe), I was reminded today that clearing your space of clutter is a big step in the right direction. So yeah, it's time to clear out the old toiletries, the clothes and random crap that I've held on to and forgotten about.

In a metaphysical sense, I'm clearing out what's been stuck, so I can get all that clogged energy moving again. This makes sense, as I have been feeling stuck. Also, in an IRL sense, an open space just feels better than a cluttered one. To speak from experience, don't you feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders when you clean house?

So if you're like me, and you currently need to fight off some funk, do a little cleaning. Even 5 minutes a day of cleaning is better than nothing.

To that end, I leave you with one of my favorite Disney cartoons. I haven't thought about it in a long time and it just popped in my head about 20 minutes ago.

Enjoy!

Lisa and Scruffles Are Excited About Halloween

2011-10-23T18:15:00.001-07:00

World Domination's Buffet

2011-10-22T21:11:00.001-07:00

Never forget the Doritoes.

What Planning For World Domination Looks Like

2011-10-22T13:09:00.001-07:00

This is serious work, people.

Hmmmm

2011-10-21T18:17:00.000-07:00

Greetings, Sports Fans.

Or, Pattyverse Fans.

Since my last entry, life has become, well, simply complicated.

This past year I started making changes in my life. I decided to leave a job that I was at for 5 years. I decided that I wanted more in my life. I wanted lots of big dreams to manifest themselves. I also thought quitting the dependable, soul-killing commute, nicest-woman-to-work-for job was a step in the right direction. I figured life would get a little bumpy, but I could make it work.

I was kinda right.

I had expected that the bumps in the road would get smoother, and that really, my transitional road was pretty short. Oh, I was wrong, Dear Readers. This road is a lot longer than I expected and has curves, bumps, pot holes that will kill you, and evil creatures hiding in the woods. I actually fell into a bad pot hole for a couple of weeks. Oh, that was miserable.

So to get out of the metaphor before it's too late...

Being unemployed sucks. It sent me into this spiral where I was trying to figure out what to do with my life, and then into all kinds of existential questions, and gah. Felt like I was going to implode for a moment. It felt like a very bad melodrama was living in my head.

I've decided that while I'm unemployed and there's a depression to fight off, I gotta get back to the basics. What are the basics?

THE BASICS:

Say "Thank You." - To every dog, cat, person, deity, tree, rock, squirrel, (SQUIRREL!!!), friend and family member I know.
Treat myself well. - While my budgets won't let me spend a week at a spa or yoga retreat, I can still go for walks, stretch, take naps, read lots of books, and occasionally visit the Super Saver movie theater. Staying motionless in my room and shutting out the world, eating crappy food is not the way to go. Trust me on this.
Find the joy in all things I can, then share it. (Why, hello there, Blog).
Practical things to be taken care of too.
Have faith
Laugh often
Expect Good Things
Rely on my family and friends for support, because I would do the same for them.

I feel like I'm beginning all over again. It almost feels like I've just moved to Los Angeles all over again, and this time, I have even less money. But... starting over again is never a bad thing. It just means new challenges that will lead me into bigger and better Everything.

ONWARDS!

I'm on Vacation!

2011-09-06T11:18:00.000-07:00

Visiting the fam this week.

Yay!

Recommending A Voice Over Class

2011-09-01T13:38:00.000-07:00

Not only is my friend Richard Tatum, loveable, hilarious, brilliant, talented, goofy, and married to my friend Tracy, but he's also a talented voiceover teacher. Richard has worked in voiceover a goodly time now and has been teaching lessons for about 10 years now.

I took a class from Richard in the basics of voiceover and I loved the atmosphere that he set up. First of all, it's just darn fun. If you're a teacher and you're about the fun and not the fear, you're all right with me. Second, every one had a chance at the mic in every class. We explored different types of voiceovers, (animation, commercials, video games, etc.), and we had feedback at the end of each session. I learned quite a bit!

Richard has another round of classes coming up, starting October 6th. It runs for 6 weeks and will cover animation! Topics will include character creation, parsing scripts, making characters dynamic, and creating and maintaining a character repertoire, as well as broadening your range, audition preparation, and styles. All students get on the microphone repeatedly every class!

So if you're interested, check out his company, Absolute Voiceover , to see what other classes he has coming up, check here. You may also find Absolute Voiceover on Facebook and Twitter.

Richard is also a wonderfully smart actor and director. If you saw Group the Musical and The Insidious Impact of Anton this year, then you've seen his directing work.

If you're an Awkward Embraces fan, than you know him as The IT Guy. Below is my favorite episode of his.

The Latest Jeff the Cat: Merchant of Darkness Episode

2011-08-30T10:07:00.000-07:00

Awhile ago I introduced you to Jeff the Cat.

In the first episode we saw how poorly Jeff treated my dear friend Jim. In this episode, we'll get to meet Stacy, who broke Jim's heart.

WARNING!

This is a foul, foul, and highly inappropriate episode. If you offend easily, you really shouldn't watch this. It you have a deep, dark, twisted sense of humor, this is for you.

Click here to know more about Tricia Pierce, and here for Jim Hanna. Hire them. They are some funny, talented people.

Vote For Stephaine!

2011-08-26T10:54:00.000-07:00

My friend Stephaine Boltjes is a fantastic stage manager. She's also a fantastic photographer. She's entered a contest for the magazine Popular Photography, and she needs your help!

It takes but a minute to register and vote for her photograph. You only have to do it once. Here's the link for Steph's picture: http://www.popphoto.com/photo-contest/2011ReadersContest/photos/cities-and-architecture/180803
It's a beautiful black & white of and old bridge. Here it is:

2011 Popular Photography Readers Photo

I came across this closed bridge on a back road off of Highway 126 near Piru, CA. A wider bridge had been built and is the background. I love the idea of old bridge and the new bridge side-by-side. I also thought the lines were incredible in this shot.

Just so you see some of her other work, I'm gonna share a couple of pics she took when we went to the San Diego Zoo last Wednesday. She really got some AMAZING pictures. She's ridiculously talented.

Great shots, right? So go click the link above for Steph's photo in the Popular Photograpy Magazine's contest! She'll win some cash, and most importantly, her photo would be the cover for their 2012 January issue! Do it, do it! Vote for Steph!

The Young Storytellers Foundation

2011-08-25T14:49:00.000-07:00

The Young Storytellers Foundation is just about my favorite volunteer organization ever. I think I've been involved for about 2 or 3 years now. What is it? Here's a blurb from their site:

In all of our programs, students are given guidance as they envision and write their own original short screenplay. At the end of the program, professional actors perform the students’ scripts in front of an audience comprised of their classmates, teachers and parents. Young Storytellers does this with the efforts of an active volunteer base of over 2,500 people from the entertainment industry. We bring professionals into the classroom, giving students an experience that they can build on through the remainder of their academic careers.

What does that mean for me? It depends on whether I'm a mentor or a performer for their end of the program Big Show. As a mentor, over a period of 8 weeks, I and 10 other mentors meet once a week for an hour to help guide students into writing a screenplay for the first time ever. Here, more than any other aspect of life, you learn how powerful the word YES is. We never tell a child 'no', we always say, "yes, and then what?" There are no bad ideas. We show them how to take a simple idea and make it into a 5 page screenplay. We encourage outrageous, silly, and original ideas. While in the process of learning how brilliant and creative they really are, they learn how to format a screenplay. It's pretty fun and always remarkable.

At the end of the 8 weeks, they have a Big Show. It's where their screenplays are performed by real life Hollywood actors! This is how I first found YSF. Several friends from The Hothouse volunteer as mentors and performers and asked if I'd like to play too. YES! I don't think I've ever had more fun onstage. Not only do I selfishly bask in the silliness and fun I personally get to have, but it's fantastic to know I've helped a child see how fun it is to be creative. The Big Show let's the students bask in a terrific glow. They get to walk down a red carpet, pictures are taken, and they get to feel like a treasured celebrity. Oh, they get so excited and nervous! It's adorable and wonderful to see them glow and bask in the joy they receive.

This Sunday, YSF is having a picnic for all mentors and performers alike to gather and have some good times. People who are interested in volunteering in any capacity are encouraged to come! Here's the link: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=239237829431965 Unfortunately, I have to miss it. :( I'm working on a short film that day, (cool!), so I'll miss the fun.

This coming Fall, I get to be a Head Mentor. That means I'll be leading a classroom for one hour a week. Yikes! Exciting and nerve wracking to be sure. This program is great though, I may be leading the talks, but I won't be by myself. Knowing that there are 10 mentors to back me up is a huge relief. This Fall is gonna be some good times.

I'm going to include a video from a couple years back. It's actually covers a Big Show that I got to perform in and there are many a familiar face in there. At least to me, anyway. Ha. (You'll even see me in some snippets!). But here's a great way to learn about YSF and what they do. If you want to know more, don't hesitate to ask, or contact them here.

The Adventures of Dude and Bro

2011-08-24T08:59:00.000-07:00

From time to time, you'll hear me mention The Hothouse. The Hothouse is a magical place for the actor/director/normal person alike to learn about improvising on stage. I have met many a fantastic person through my playful studies. There are lots of people to brag about from that corner of the world, let me tell you!

My friends Nate Messina and PJ Myers-Chase have gotten together with their friends to make their own webseries, The Adventures of Dude and Bro. No, I haven't seen it yet, but below is a NSFW trailer on what's to come. It looks like we can expect some over the top fun. My favorite part of the trailer? The last moment involving some keen driving skills.

They've launched a Kickstarter Campaign to help them finish the last three episodes of their series. If you see something you enjoy, please spread the word and contribute as you see fit.

You can find their Kickstarter page here: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/richardkeith7df/the-adventures-of-dude-and-bro

Theater You Want to See This Weekend

2011-08-23T11:31:00.000-07:00

It's closing weekend! I want you to see my show! I also want you to see another show. See some theater, damn it! It's good for you.

First the show I've been proud to be a part of, The Insidious Impact of Anton, is closing this weekend. I'm part of a wonderful ensemble and we have just been having the best time performing in this show. I would tell you more about the show, but I think this will do all the talking for me.

To find where you can buy tickets and read the reviews go to Absolute Theatre's page here.

The other show that I think you need to see before it closes is The Gospel According to First Squad.
From their site:
The highly anticipated third installment of Tom Burmester’s War Cycle, Gospel According to First Squad, takes place in the Theatre of War. On the brink of civilization in Eastern Afghanistan, deep in the deadly Korengal Valley, the men of First Squad walk the tightrope between boredom and terror everyday. In a valley lit by firestorms of chaos, courage can be proved by a casual walk to the burn-shitter. As First Squad navigates the human terrain, winning hearts and minds from the Taliban, a new addition to their team threatens their mission, the populace, and their dreams of home. Gospel According to First Squad will take you on a tour of duty -- as an American -- that will shine a light on our mission, our morals, and asks what you will do -- or won’t do -- to keep your freedom.

My favorite aspect of seeing a show from the Los Angeles Theatre Ensemble, is that it is usually the most engaging theater I get to experience in this town. No matter what the piece is, I can see that everyone involved poured their blood, sweat, and tears into a show to give the audience a night of theater they'll never forget. Gospel is no different. The writing is engaging, the directing is flawless, and the acting is brilliant. Tickets can be purchased here: http://www.latensemble.com/2009/Tickets.html

I wish I could find a video to post here, but I'll leave you with this excerpt from a review from LA Weekly:

Director Danika Sudik (aided by Burmester) controls the pace while allowing for necessary outbursts of the tightly coiled emotion and energy inside each solider, all of which are scary in a primal way. Which is, after all, the point. The army, like all fraternities, encourages herd mentality. It doesn't elevate man; it reduces him to his most animalistic instincts -- or so the military hopes, because only when men stop reflecting can they do what must be done to win. The entire ensemble is terrific, but special mention goes to Jonathan Redding's calm-before-cracking sergeant.

Fight Class The Series

2011-08-22T09:10:00.000-07:00

Imma gonna brag about my friends Kim Turney, Jan Bryant, and Dan Speaker.

They are all partners and teach at the Academy of Theatrical Combat, and coincidentally enough, that's where I've been studying how to wield a sword for camera. Trust me, it's super fun and so far, it's the closest I've come to living my childhood dream of being a pirate.

They've taken it upon themselves to create a webseries. This isn't your typical webseries, oh no, they're breaking down fight scenes from movies and teaching you how to do them yourself! Jan and Dan teach their charming host Kristen Nedopak how to perform the scene, while Kim directs from behind the camera and gives great life to fight scenes. Each episode runs about 10 minutes and so far they've recreated fights from Army of Darkness and Game of Thrones.

Here's their latest episode, where they break down the fight scene from Hook, between Peter and Hook. Just to let you know, Jan and Dan were the swordmasters behind Hook - lucky them! Can you imagine how fun it must've been to work with Steven Speilberg, Dustin Hoffman, Robin Williams, and all those great kids? And on that set, too? So fun, so jealous.

Without further ado, here's Episode 3:

If you enjoyed that, here's their first two episodes, Army of Darkness:

And.... Game of Thrones!

Who Needs a Massage?

2011-05-04T18:41:00.000-07:00

In the almost 7 years of being a massage therapist, I have met some extraordinary bodyworkers and Marcia Lopez is one of them. I met Marcia when I worked for The Massage Therapy Center in West LA. (Truly love that place). Over the past several years I have worked with Marcia and I've come to greatly admire her. She's funny, a kick in the pants, and whip smart. She's never stopped learning about the healing properties of massage. Her knowledge of the human body is vast. I know when I book a massage with her, I'm exceedingly lucky.

Marcia recently sent out an email and I had to share it with all of you. She's offering a deal for women to receive Mayan Abdominal Therapy. Many people don't know how important it can be for your body to receive massage on your abdomen. It's a vital area, aside from holding all of those necessary organs, it is a storage area for your emotions as well. Think about it - if something bad happens, sometimes you get sick to your stomach. Or when you're happy or nervous - don't you get butterflies in your stomach?

So here's your chance ladies, read what Marcia has to say, and if you're in the Los Angeles area, you should get a hold of her. You can tell her I sent you. Then you can look forward to some amazing bodywork.

And fellas? You should get a hold of Marcia as well. Just sayin'.
------------
Hello Sisters,

I would like to start off by saying what a pleasure it is to know all of you and to have the opportunity to be of service.

Many of you know that I am a Massage Therapist and that I have recently included in my practice – Mayan Abdominal Therapy. This work is very dear to me and I wish to extend this therapy to as many people as possible. It is deep knowledge that has been an instrument in my own healing for ...the past 3 years.

What it is – is an ancient Mayan technique of abdominal massage. It is an external non invasive manipulation that address internal organs that have shifted, thereby restricting the flow of blood, lymph, nerve and chi. It incorporates a holistic approach to health care which includes massage, anatomy and physiology, herbology, nutrition, and emotional and spiritual healing.

The work was taught to Dr. Rosita Arvigo by her mentor Don Elijio Panti, the great Mayan Shaman of Belize with whom she apprenticed for ten years. Don Elijio believed that a woman's center is her uterus. "If a woman's uterus is out of balance, so is she," he would say.

For women, this therapy can aid in the treatment of:
• Displaced or prolapsed uterus and or bladder
• Painful menstrual cycles and ovulation
• Irregular menstrual cycles and ovulation
• Bladder or yeast infections
• Miscarriages, difficult pregnancies
• Endometriosis
• Peri menopause, menopausal symptoms
• Infertility
• PMS/Depression with menstruation
• Ovarian cysts
• Uterine fibroids
• Abnormal uterine bleeding
• Enhances Pregnancy, aids in labor and birthing
• Pelvic congestion, pain

Establishing a connection with my own uterus and using the MAT techniques to return it to proper alignment - has taken my 7 day period to 4 days, has aided in my recovering from a cervical polyp removal, a subsequent biopsy, and ultimately has enhanced my athletic ability, my strength, my intuition, and my belief in true healing.

I combine Mayan Abdominal Therapy with my extensive knowledge of anatomy, Shiatsu Hara therapy, Shiatsu for Pregnancy, Neural Resonance Therapy (www.templebody.com), and advance experience in Injury Rehabilitation, Deep Tissue, Myofascial Work based on the Rice Release Technique of Neuromuscular Health (www.in-spiraling.com), and spiritual healing.

Supporting all of my work is my conviction that we are all capable of self- healing and my strong connection to Love and Source.

Here is what some women are saying about their experience :

My massage was an educational experience where I learned how to connect with my body and build a relationship where I could heal and learn to appreciate all she does for me. I learned self care for my womb which has made a big difference in how she relates to me and helps me to ground. My first menstrual after the massage was less painful! And that's great!
– Miriam Rosario

Receiving a sacred "Mayan Womb Massage" from Marcia was profoundly ritualistic and incredibly rejuvenating. It has been essential to my post-partum process and is assisting me in realigning my womb, reconnecting deeply with my intuition, my body, and creating greater intimacy with my partner. Thank you Marcia for your majikal hands, soothing touch, nurturing energy and over all medicine.
– Olga Montes

I found the massage to be very comfortable and informative. I could feel the positioning of my uterus and how it responded to being massaged including the muscles and ligaments cradling it. My abdomen seemed to be awakened. The uterus itself was tilted to one side for years and moved more into place, so much so that, with self care follow up, it was in place for my 2nd massage a week later. Since the massages, I have had two menstrual cycles, both with a more even flow and without discomfort or
clotting. The self care is easy to do and only takes 5 min. With all the nerve endings in the abdomen, my body seems to come alive. What's most interesting to me is how responsive the abdomen is to this care.
– Kathy Quinn

This Massage allows for a whole new experience, it is a great massage and I definately recommend it!
- Karina H.

I am very excited about this work.

*Beginning May 16th thru June 30th I will be offering this treatment to my community on a sliding scale.
$60 to $90 for the initial session - 90min to 2hours
$40 to $60 for follow up sessions - 60 to 75min.
Follow up sessions are strongly recommended, frequency is determined after initial treatment.

Appointments are necessary -
You may reach me by email and phone:
truehealingbodywork@hotmail.com
310.514.6009

More information about the work can be found at www.arvigotherapy.com
And by reading Sastun: My Apprenticeship with a Maya Healer http://www.amazon.com/Sastun-My-Apprenticeship-Maya-Healer/dp/006250259X
Here is a quick preview to the documentary that is also available:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbJFEe8U5Y4

I look forward to sharing this amazing and revolutionary work with all of you.
Health, Love, and Prosperity
Marcia

Maya wisdom flows through my veins first and foremost. I come from the land of the Q'uiche, the venerated Ix'chel, Choc, and the majestic Quetzal. Mayan ancestry is with me as their connection to
earth and cosmos. The fruit of their knowledge lies in the center of woman, for within her is the center of the universe, the matrix of life, blood, and body, for she is the holder and the creatrix. The health of the woman is the health of the tribe, for all her fruit is blessed.
~ In Lak'ech (I Am Another Yourself)

Jeff the Cat, Merchant of Darkness

2011-04-26T23:28:00.000-07:00

This is Jeff. Isn't he just adorable?

Don't let that fool you.

Jim Hanna, creator of the webseries, Jeff the Cat: Merchant of Darknesss, is a sick, twisted man and I love him for it. I've been extremely fortunate to share the stage with Jim several times. Not only is Jim a solid actor, he's a comic genius, and you feel yourself just drawn to him as you watch him on stage. You might have even seen Jim in "that one commercial," or on a show recently. (Hot in Cleveland, Hard Times of RJ Berger, Lie to Me, Alias - to name a few). He's a supreme talent, and his genius knows no bounds.

Although Jim takes care of Jeff, apparently Jeff can be kind of a dick. Not one of us believed that such a sweet faced kitty could be so evil. So Jim decided to show the world that Jeff is truly depraved. He keeps horrible company and treats Jim like a servant. There are 5 episodes so far showing the full range of Jeff's depravity, and I can't wait for the next one.
My favorite is still the first one. (None of these are suited for kids or for the workplace - you have been warned). Also check out how Jeff ruined Christmas here.

If you desire to know more about Jeff, never you fear. You can find him on Facebook and Twitter. He's a smart, smart kitty. He even Tweeted about me on my birthday! One day I hope I can be on Jim and Jeff's webseries. Maybe we can start a Twitter Movement to get me on it, what do you think?

I leave you with this picture, where Jeff shows he knows what the Internet is used for.

Fearless Week!

2011-04-25T22:19:00.000-07:00

After I saw The Vagina Monologues last week, I didn't do too much. The reason? As many on The Tweety know, I was house-sitting in Manhattan Beach. I was watching over, this precious, precious little kitten, Fearless:

(I'm very proud of this picture).

Fearless was named so last year, when Stephaine found a mama cat and a litter of 4 kittens in her backyard. Of the four little ones, the smallest, sickest one would come out to greet her every time for food. Thus, Fearless was named.

There she is, just as talkative as ever. (Pic by Stephaine Boltjes). :)

I'm starting to think I may have a career in pet photography. All with my cell phone. Pardon me, but I share a lot of pics I took this past week.

Fearless is just about a year old, but she's sooo curious about everything! She makes exploring fun. She plays fetch like a pro. She's slowly learning that in between pouncing and running that snuggles are nice. She's happiest when she plays, it's when she purrs the most.

Here we go, here's the gallery of Fearless pics from this past week. Enjoy.

She's quite the Night Creature

And this is what I see when I leave everyday. "Don't go! Stay and play with me! I'm soooo cute!"

The bathtub is a fantastic playground.

This is another favorite. The Fearless Hunter

The Almighty Thor!

2011-04-21T21:39:00.000-07:00

The fact that I get to learn about swordfighting is awesome. The fact that my teachers have worked on such favorites of mine like Hook, The Three Musketeers, and Army of Darkness is supremely awesome. The icing on the cake is that they've become family to me down here in Los Angeles.

Jan Bryant, Dan Speaker, and Kim Turney are instructors at the Academy of Theatrical Combat. They know their way around all kinds of sharp, pointy objects, and all kinds of bludgeoning goodies as well. Jan and Dan were hired to coordinate the fights on SyFy's The Almighty Thor. Check out the trailer below, you'll catch a glimpse of what they've done. You'll even see my friend Jason Medbury in a suit of armor, fighting Thor. Yay!

And yes, Thor gets to use an Uzi. I don't see a problem with that, do you? Almighty Thor premieres May 7th on the SyFy Channel. Weeee!

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Whirlwind of a Weekend

2011-04-19T22:48:00.000-07:00

Hot damn I had a good time this past weekend. So much so that it ended on a Monday. I do believe I need more hours in a day to play, sleep, and then share all.

Friday was great as Genie and I went to see a show at Improv Olympic, Opening Night. She's now taking classes there and I plan on seeing as many shows as I can with her as possible. I live for the improv. Always need more. There's more to learn, more to enjoy, more to play. And they were F-ing brilliant! The hardest thing about improv is describing a show you've seen. There's just no way to capture what you've seen. Just trust me when I say brilliant.

Saturday Genie and I went to a Vegan Cupcake Thingamabob. THEY WERE GOOD!

That is a dark chocolate peanut butter cupcake. You best believe I ordered two. That was my dinner. I'm proud to admit it.

I followed that up by seeing a movie called Big in Bollywood, where fellow UCLA alum Matt McCroskey was one of the filmmakers. It was premiered at the Indian Film Festival. The documentary was fantastic, and they won Audience Favorite! Here are the guys doing a little Q &A after the screening.

It's a little grainy, sure, but you get the idea. I was there! I saw the magic!

Sunday I went to The Gentle Barn for the first time. The Gentle Barn rescues abused animals from all sorts of places. And when I hear their stories, I find I want to be vegan more than I ever thought possible. By the way, you can go on Sundays for $5, hug the animals, and eat world class vegan cupcakes and pizza. *drool* That pizza was absolutely amazing! Enjoy these pics.

Goodness me that's a whole lotta pics.

And last but not least, I saw The Vagina Monologues performed by a wonderful group of women over at the Los Angeles Theatre Ensemble in Santa Monica. I've read the book/script before, but never watched it performed. It's truly wonderful. You may turn your nose up at it, "oh it's been done before." But still there are people who haven't seen it, haven't performed it. Still people who might not understand what it's all about it. So go see it, read it, and learn. It's wonderful to see such good work performed by your friends.

You can find The Gentle Barn and LATEnsemble on Twitter: @gentlebarn and @latensemble Great people doing great work.

God of Carnage is a Must See

2011-04-14T23:48:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday, Trina and I had the privilege to go see the opening night of God of Carnage.

I always love seeing shows in a big "professional space." There's an extra sense of magic, I think it's because there's a bigger budget involved. It feels more grown up. I'm not trashing the "little theater", 'cuz that's where my heart is at. Anyway - the extra sense of fun this time around was due to it being opening night! Ooh! Lots of people in the house! Even some celebrities! It was even rumored that Brangelina were there. But we didn't see them. I think my fave sighting was Sandra Oh.

I was going to show you the fabulous pictures I had taken with my phone before they told me no pictures were allowed. But it seems none of them came out. Well, except for this awesome, awesome one---->

I do love my R2D2 phone, but the self portraits still need work. Droid 2s don't seem to be that convenient for such a task.

Anyhoo, let me tell you about the play! GO SEE IT! It's twisted! It's hilarious! It is fucking fantastic. You start out with two couples facing the problem of their children fighting. They meet in one family's home. You start to think you're going to watch a "living room" drama. But nooooo. It descends into total chaos. No character is perfect, and you don't care. In fact, you want to see them explode, and they all do. James Gandolfini, Hope Davis, and Jeff Daniels are just wonderful, but no one explodes the way Marcia Gay Harden does.

Originally, it's a French play written by Yasmina Reza, it was adapted by Christopher Hampton, (best known for Dangerous Liaisons), and the script just kills. There are some fantastic one liners as we learn about the couples, their marriages, and their views on child rearing. It was on Broadway, and we in Los Angeles have been lucky enough to watch the original cast play on stage. I tell ya, even from the nosebleeds, it was a joy to watch them work.

At the end of the night, as Trina and I were waiting to watch the crowd thin out, I spotted some LA Theater friends. After exchanging pleasantries, we were asked if we wanted to do an interview. I, amazingly enough, said yes. There was a camera with a bright light, and Corwin with a mic, and myself stumbling over my words. As I was telling my mom today, I'm not comfortable in front of a camera as myself. As someone else, yes, me? No. When I get my hands on it, so will you. You will enjoy a good laugh.

I highly recommend that if you can see God of Carnage, you best do it. I wish I could go back and get closer seats. Och, it was so good. You can buy tix from the link above, and it's playing until May 29th. If you're in the LA area, you will be thrilled to see it. If not, no worries: there's a film coming out with Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet, John C. Reilly, and Christoph Waltz. Looks like it's slated to come out in 2012. I can't wait, hope it lives up to the play.

And there's my mini review. I hope it was enjoyable.

Fearless

2011-04-12T16:59:00.001-07:00

She's adorable.

This is a Test

2011-04-12T16:49:00.001-07:00

Blogging from the phone. Can it be done?

Birthday at Disneyland!!!!

2011-04-12T00:08:00.000-07:00

I love Disneyland. I do. Can't help it. Last year I was given an annual pass by my friends. This year, I used that pass to go with other Disneyland Aficionados. Funnily enough, they all knew me but didn't know one another. I was a bit worried, these people could decide to not get along, but truly, half the fun of my birthday was watching them play and goof around with each other.

All I wanted to do at Disneyland was to see The Muppets in 3D and make sure that I catch Fantasmic, since it had been years since I saw it last. Everything else was icing on the cake. Yummy, sugary icing. We got to explore California Adventure more than I had done so before. I even had a margarita and learned about getting a package of tortillas for my birthday!

They all took care to make sure I had a good time, indulging in my every whim, making sure I had excellent seats for the rides, and we even got to see a sneak preview clip of The Pirates of the Caribbean. I just had an amazing time. I can't thank Anthony, Ruzenka, Jake, and Gedaly enough.

There will definitely be more fun times ahead with this crowd. I'm even thinking of hosting a TweetUp at Disneyland. We'll see if I can pull it off though.

Awkward Bragging

2011-02-09T20:02:00.000-08:00

I have to say, the Pattyverse is filled with inspiring talent. I'm surrounded by such determined, dream-oriented people. It's thoroughly inspiring.

In the past three years or so, many friends have started working in the world of the webseries. It's still a new frontier, a Wild West, if you will. You may of heard of The Guild, The Bannen Way, and Stalker Chronicles.

My roommate, Jessica Mills is amazing. Last year, she created a webseries called Awkward Embraces. I got to help out a bit, and if you look closely, I'm the Skank in Episode 5, and if you don't blink you'll see me briefly in Episode 9. Hee. Jessica got tired of the "industry" telling her in order to get seen in the world of acting you had to A + B +C, and there's no way to bypass a damn thing. She got her good friends together and decided to make a webseries. Just about a year later, she's blown up all over Twitter, the Geek World has embraced her, and the premiere of Season 2 is just around the corner!! (February 18th, yo!).

The neatest thing about it all? Jess asked me to help co-produce! Weeeeee! What it means right now? Oh, I have a wide assortment of random duties. Is that normal? Dunno. But it's pretty fun. So far, my biggest job is to help get the word out about our fundraising to complete Season 2. Also, if you follow the hashtag #AwkwardTrivia you will see what happens when we start to tweet random silly "facts" about the cast and crew. Last night, the damn thing blew up with fans coming up with their own trivia, and damn was it fun! And really humbling when you think about it - so many people, from so many different places like Awkward Embraces that they want to engage and play along with us!

You know what else is grand? A week ago, Jessica launched the second Indiegogo campaign with the dreamy goal of raising $10,000! Holy cow! Holy mackerel! Holy holy! You know what else is even more amazing? Right now, at this very moment in time, we've raised $5,303!!!!! Just over half way there, and we have two months to raise the full $10,000. Jessica and the gang are so delighted, in awe, thankful, and downright giddy. I can tell you right now, the emails are on fire within the troops. Just you wait, you're going to be amazed at what we have in store for you.

I'm gonna finish this blog with one final plug: On February 18th, we will be celebrating the premiere of Season 2. What's the icing on that cake, you ask? The party is sponsored by Comikaze, an expo for the Los Angeles fan of anything geektastic. It's doubly a charity fundraiser, to benefit Gamers United, an organization that brings video games to children's hospitals across the world. If you're in the Los Angeles area - please, please come! You get in by either donating $10 to Gamers United, or you can bring a new comic book or video game. How cool is that? AND there will be dancing, fun gifts, and even Michelle Rodriguez will even be guest DJing. Ah-mazing. Reserve your tix here.

All right, here's the Season 2 trailer:

And here's our Indiegogo video:

Please spread the word about Awkward Embraces! It's truly a work of love and fun.

Hello, Again!

2011-01-26T18:58:00.001-08:00

All right I'm blogging. I'm blogging, I'm blogging, I'm blogging! (Thank you, Clue)

Friends of mine know that I've been wanting to blog again for quite some time. Some even know of the grandiose plans I have envisioned with said blog. And yet... I think I got in my own way. So many ideas, how do I do them all at once? ....... Well then, if I can't do it all at once I won't do it at all. *stomps foot*

That's just silly, isn't it?

So Plan the First - just start blogging again for crying out loud! So maybe it can't be all grandiose at first. The point is to blog and share and connect. I can do that without fancy web-code-thingys. Right?

Right?

My intention, (aside from the sharing of my life with the friends and family I don't see enough), is the sharing of the many wondrous people I've had the fortune to meet while living in Los Angeles. Yes, LA is a small world, and yet I think we can make this world smaller and even more fun. Just think about it, I alone in my humble existence know:

Actors
Acrobats
Dancers
Teachers
Directors
Editors
Pet Sitters
Photographers
Massage Therapists
Estheticians
Producers
Musicians
Artists
Writers
Bookkeepers
Cinematographers
Chefs
Aerial Performers
Clowns
Stuntmen and women

And more!

It's amazing how many of those talents can overlap in a person. And yet, not all of you know that Lovely and Talented Friend A from the Westside, runs her own theater company, acts, has a ridiculous amount of theater connections and her husband is a actor, director, voice over teacher and artist. What about Lovely and Talented Friend B from the Manhattan Beach area who's a actor, dancer, artist, graphic designer? Wouldn't you like to know these people? Wouldn't you like to be able to share your talents with one another? And you can - 'cuz I recommend only the best!

This past year alone, I can't tell you how much fun I've had helping people connect in producing webseries, teaching classes, planning events, etc., etc. SO.MUCH.FUN!

So here's the Plan the Second. I share a little about me, and then I brag a whole lot about all of you. How does that sound?

And to start us off, I bring you Shelley Delayne. She is one of the most energetically enjoyable people I have ever been around. SO creative. Shelley just produced her first HowTo video: creating a cat toy based on Angry Birds. If you love crafts, Angry Birds, and kittehs, I totally think this is a video for you.

Where the F have I been?

2009-09-28T13:06:00.000-07:00

Hello!!!

Oh, it's been quite too long for me to have gone without a post! I'm so out of the blog world! I don't know what's happening with myself or my other bloggie friends. I've had to rely on human interaction, (yikes!), and that has been touch and go as it is.

I've been back in LA for a little over a month now. Life has felt like a whirlwind! Traveling, smashing cars, moving, unpacking, hustling massage for cash, rehearsing.... I'm just barely startling to feel as my feet are back on the ground.

There has been a lot swirling around in my little head, I tell ya.

I almost don't know where to begin....

But I will tell you I'm fine. I'm very happy right now. Despite the many worries in this head of mine, I am amazed at how happy I am. I think it has to do with finally accepting my life and how I want to lead it.

This might sound strange to some, but I needed my independence. For years I have hated going into work from 9 to 5, or whatever retail shift I had, even when I was at a spa of some sort. Because oddly enough, it somehow felt like it got in the way. In the way of what? I don't know, everything. I was really feeling it in the first half of the year. I was jealous of my friends who freelanced, or who had been let go of their jobs. So, I decided that when I came back into town, I'd strike out on my own.

I've been surviving off of massage and working for Freshi. While money is tight, and I wish I had more, I'm doing all right. I think it all comes down to acceptance and staying positive and forward thinking. I know right now, and probably for some time yet, money is tight. But it doesn't mean it's not coming into me. It is, and I'll just keep working to make sure that it continues coming and in bigger quantities. And accepting that this is how I want to be, instead of guilting myself for living like this, and choosing to know that massage and any other job I have is a tool for me to get what I want, has lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.

The biggest thing I wanted in quite sometime was independence. Amazingly enough, I've gotten it. Now the next thing to work on is getting the acting career up and going. This a long, many layered journey, and I know I'm just at the beginning of it. But I'm not giving up, after all, I'm just getting started!

More later,
PJ

SARK

2009-07-26T09:03:00.000-07:00

It's near the end of my visit in the Bay. Mom decided to randomly look up online events in Hayward. Lo and behold, she found a free workshop given by SARK herself, (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy), at the Hayward Public Library. She knows I'm working on The Artist's Way, (currently on hold while I'm out and about), and she knew it would be a great Mother/Daughter Time. And so we went, and so we had a wonderful time!

And as I sat and listened, I felt energized, and renewed, and inspired, and playful, and great. I've been looking at her website, PlanetSARK.com and I feel the need to share again and to treat my blog as a tool for delightfullness. Yes, I want this to become a resource for us actor-types, but it's also supposed to be fun to do, and I was letting myself get bogged down with self-imposed, "I MUSTs." Crazy, isn't it?

SARK has her own blog: www.sarkjournal.com, and I plan on reading it as much as possible. The Artist's Way is definitely a help in finding your creative self - SARK really helps you find the joy in your creative self. I will leave you with a fanastic, delicious quote from SARK,"Remember to delight yourself first, then others can be truly delighted."

Theater Goodness - 6/18 to 6/21

2009-06-17T23:28:00.000-07:00

Greetings!

I'm in the midst of packing, cleaning, and getting ready for a 2 month pilgrimage. And what am I doing 3 nights before my drive away from LA? F-ing around on the internet. Seriously, I need to tell you about all the wonderful things that my friends are doing in this town! Dancing, improvisation, acting, musicians, more acting - really, what more could you ask for?

Young Storytellers Foundation - just as a wee plug - Set your DVR's for "Eye on LA" this Saturday, June 20 (6:30 PM, ABC Channel 7) and see a very special segment featuring the Young Storytellers at Betty Plasencia Elementary. - I do believe this will have footage from the performance I was privileged enough to be a part of. If not, who cares? You should know about this fantastic group.

Ark Theatre Company
Hedda Gabler - the happiest show on earth! (Does my droll sense of humor come across)? I plan on seeing it tonight. I can't wait to see my friends tear up the stage.

Hothouse Improvisation
Friday night is the last of the Summer Shows. Boo. This will be the last thing I see before I go driving away. $10, free drinks, live band, brilliant improv, you will love it.

Sacred Fools
This company just don't quit with the shows! Madness in Valencia is still running, my friend Michael Holmes is getting some great reviews, Friday night they have Magnum Opus, and on Saturday - Serial Killers. Two original creations from Sacred Fools, two brilliant and f'in funny shows.

Circus Theatricals
My friend Jim McCaffree is performing in their One Act Festival - read a review from Backstage West here.

Theater 68
Perry Smith, who was in my Project 22 at The Hothouse, is currently performing in BEGGARS IN THE HOUSE OF PLENTY. She and her cast have been getting wonderful reviews, and have had the honor of getting extended!

Pin-up Girls -
Davis Neves is dancing! Woot! You can see her in two shows this weekend. Here with The Pin-up girls at Dragonfly at 11pm this Friday night. Click on the link for their info on MySpace.

Helios Jive
Davis also gets to dance for this fantastic band. Paul Newman gets to perform as well, and you will love their brilliance on stage, while they play at the Elysium Festival this Saturday night.

Sarah Romanowsky
Another friend and fabulous dancer, Sarah gets to perform in a piece at the Debbie Reynolds Showcase this weekend. Sarah is also an aerialist, and even teaches classes!

Rumor has it, I also have friends performing more improvisation at another locale. Once I get that confirmed, I'll let you know! I don't think you could ever have enough improvisation in your life, especially when it involves great artists that are alumni from The Hothouse.

THERE'S NO REASON FOR YOU TO STAY IN THIS WEEKEND! GO OUT AND SUPPORT THE ARTS AND MY FRIENDS!

And on one final note, before I go back to packing one more box, Aarti Paarti Quick Bites, has yet another episode up and going! She's cooking some flank steak (looks so good!), and even has a gunfight - with bananas. Trust me, it's a good episode.

Genie Willett - Stalker Girl

2009-06-11T11:43:00.000-07:00

Hello Friends.

I've been trying to decide what to brag about today. What can I connect you with? Who can I show off? What can I inform you of?

Here's one little excerpt of a series at Hothouse Films. Stalker Girl features Genie Willett doing what she does best. It also features the brilliance of Elena Zaretsky, Jamie Lou Moniz, and Brendan McNamara.

Mark 1:

Mark 2:

The ever so chilling conclusion - Mark 3:

I hope you loved them all!

Aarti is a Party!

2009-06-10T11:23:00.000-07:00

This is my lovely and talented friend Aarti.

Truly, Aarti is quite lovely, and quite talented. She's a brilliant improviser as well as a brilliant chef. She has taken it upon herself to make her own cooking show to great acclaim. She writes her own blog over at Aartilla the Fun where you can find recipes to try out and drool over. She even works with her ever so lovely and talented husband, Brendan McNamara to host The News Show:

I want you to know about Aarti, because she is doing what she loves, and she is working to make her life nice and abundant from doing so. I also want you to hire her to bake you a cake or something else just as delicious. If you'd like to see an example, check out her blog entry Proud of Myself.

Below is her newest episode of Aarti Paarti Quick Bites. Watch and enjoy!

What's The Haps

2009-06-09T09:53:00.000-07:00

My apologies for being out of the loop for the past week! So much is happening in the world!

This week I want you to watch Mythbusters, go see lots of theater, and recycle your old yoga mats.

MYTHBUSTERS

Len Anderson IV, a new family member of The Hothouse, gets to be on Mythbusters this week! As he posted on his Facebook account, " Mythbusters Fans - I am low and supersonic in an F-18 on the episode "Curving Bullets" Wed. night. 9 pm. Does flying a sonic boom really break glass?" This is pretty friggin' cool if you ask me. Len is an awesome improviser as well as an awesome pilot! Woo hoo!

THEATER GOODNESS,

Opening this week! At the Ark Theatre Company - Hedda Gabler, by good ol' Ibsen. My friends at Ark are very excited about this performance. As I've never read or seen Hedda, I'm very excited for what will unfold on stage. Buy your online tix here

Also this Friday, it's time for another round of improv at The Hothouse. Meet the cast!

Over at Sacred Fools Theater Company, my wonderful friend Michael Holmes is performing in Madness in Valencia. It looks to be like a fantastic show, it's been given a 'Go" from the LA Weekly. That's huge. For more info: http://www.sacredfools.org/

And last but certainly not least, my lovely and talented friend, Susan Lee is hosting a night of 24 hour theater as a fundraiser for her fall production Gross Indecency at The Eclectic Theatre Company. Here's the blurb:

What happens when writers have no time to write and directors and actors have no time to rehearse? Why, 24 hour theater is what happens!
Friday night, June 12, the writers get assigned a line of dialog and draw a cast out of a hat. They then scurry off to their local coffee house and tap away at their keyboards until early morning.
Saturday, June 13, the directors and actors arrive early in the morning, get together and go off and rehearse.
At 8 PM and 10 PM that night, the show goes on, ready or not. It's a fine line between train wreck and brilliance.
Admission - $10
TWO, COUNT 'EM, TWO SHOWS AT 8 PM AND 10PM.
C'mon, you know you want to see how it all turns out!
This event is a fundraiser for "Gross Indecency, the Three Trials of Oscar Wilde", which opens September 4th at Eclectic Company Theatre.

As for me - I find I'm in a post-show funk. I have free time, but do I really, really want to do anything? Really, I don't have any choice. In two weeks, I'm driving up home for about two months to work for Freshi Films. I get to teach filmmaking camps to bunches of little kiddies all over the Bay! On top of that, I need to pack for moving The Princess Palace, since that's happening while I'm gone. And on top of that? Getting the car smogged and registered. All within the next two weeks. Let's not get into the numerous meetings, auditions, and appointments that are happening as well. Needless to say, I feel a bit like a chicken with my head cut off. But who cares? There's lots of good things happening in the world! Go out and be part of it all!

More Bragging for The Hothouse

2009-05-29T11:00:00.000-07:00

The Hothouse has another fantastic summer show tonight! $10 for a night of wonderful, good times.

Have You Seen My Derby Video Before??

2009-05-28T14:00:00.000-07:00

I'll have to unearth the blog I did on MySpace about it all. But it was fun. And I figure for you new friends, it could be something silly and fun to watch. :)

Patty's Destruction Derby

Go Out & See Some Theater! -and-The Princess Palace is Relocating

2009-05-28T10:32:00.000-07:00

Get out of the house, you Los Angelinos!

Here's some theater you need to see:

The Country Wife - my show is closing this week! Sadness! Saturday's our last night. It's,"a sexual creampuff of delight!" For ticket info, look up Ark Theatre, Goldstar, LA Stage Alliance, or Stubdog.

The Heretic Mysteries -a show that features my friend Dee Amero Sudik, put on by the Los Angeles Theatre Ensemble. I'm excited because I get to see this show next Thursday! Whoopee! I believe you can look up half-price tix at the same websites, but don't quote me on that.

Project 22 - A night of improv at The Hothouse! You know this is close to my heart. $10 at the door, free booze, 3 sets of brilliant improvisers, one live band to throw it all together. So. Goshdarn.Fun.

This Sunday, the Academy of Theatrical Combat is hosting another Intro Class from 12 to 2. $50, tell Jan and Dan I say hi. SO FUN!!!!

In other news, The Housing Gods have seen to bless the current residents of The Princess Palace. Namely, myself Trina, and Jessi. We're going to move mid-July and live in a brand new home. Three of us are very excited, there's a backyard for the doggies and excellent parking, among other fabulous, fabulous accroutement. (Did I spell that right?) Oh, primarily we're excited just because we're not living under the rule of the crazy, drunk-sounding landlady. Hallelujah.

The closing of Country Wife will be sad. But, after a 7 week run, I'm definitely looking forward to a little more free time. One of the joys at being part of a theater company is that I don't have to say goodbye to the friends that I've made. And while some are all ready to get started on the next show, they are not far, far away.

The Artist's Way challenge of no reading/normal distraction of Facebook is still challenging. The good thing is, I've spent more time on this blog. The bad, it has cut off my major communication to the world. Unfortunately, time is seeming to escape me and it has left me feeling strangely restless and easily grouchy. Yet I am determined to keep the best foot forward. C'mon, World, bring me the good stuff!!!!

I hope you all have a lovely day, and for crying out loud, go out and see some live theater!!!

Hothouse Improvisation Level 1 Classes Starting June 8th

2009-05-27T09:57:00.000-07:00

My love for improv was resurrected from taking classes at The Hothouse. Their Level 1 class on the basics is starting on June 8th. Sign up now! Here's the info:

Check out the link for more info on our new level 1: http://www.hothouseimprov.com/new_level_1.html

Level 1 Class Schedule:
June 8^th, 15^th, 22^nd, 29^th
July 6^th, 13^th, 20^th, 27^th

Hothouse Level 1 w/ John Thies
Meets Mondays, from 7-10pm for 8 Weeks
Tuition: $275

Hothouse Improvisation
4934 Lankershim Blvd.
North Hollywood, CA 91601
818.331.2611
http://www.hothouseimprov.com

Honestly, I've never met a more supportive and fun group. My opinion on the whole thing is that they're teaching you the tools to improvise, not teaching you games to be witty at. There are four basic levels, each tackling a different angle of improv. The Level 4 class teaches you how to put it all together for their show style. No, they don't put a name to it, as I know other improv schools do. That's something for me to learn next, I guess. Also, they're extremely willing to help out those of us who are in a financial struggle, but want to take the class. They take payment plans! Woot!

If you're afraid to begin, then this is just right for you. My group were all scared. We all said how much we were scared of improvising, one guy even said how much he hated improv, but heard so much about this group that he'd give it a go. It's good for the writer, the director, the actor, and any other schmuck off the street.

I hope you can sign up and take the class. Please tell John and Lana I say hi!

Note: The links aren't working for some odd reason. So just copy and paste a bit, won't you?

The Country Wife Gets Reviewed! -or- Chatty Patty Goes Insane!

2009-05-26T11:01:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday, we were lucky enough to have a reviewer from LA Weekly come see the show. No, I'm not mentioned, I'm just a lowly maid - but who cares, we got a great review! Read on, pass it on, so on and so forth. We only have a week left!

NEW REVIEW GO THE COUNTRY WIFE Adapted and directed by Richard Tatum,
William Wycherley's 1675 bawdy satire is a sexual creampuff of delight. In
cahoots with Dr. Quack (Jim Hanna), Harry Horner (Darin Toonder) passes
himself off as a eunuch to polite society--all with the mind to be trusted
alone with the wives of gentlemen. His impotency is the focus of much
conversation, until the wives find out the truth and start lining up for his
services. One who doesn't trust him with his wife--or with any man for that
matter--is Jack Pinchwife (Antony Ferguson) who keeps his wife Margery
(Caroline Sharp) under lock and key. When he finally relents after her
constant pleading to see London, he dresses her as a boy, but the duplicity
doesn't fool Horner. She responds to Horner's kisses and a mix up of letters
ensues. There's a subplot involving Pinchwife's sister Althea (Tracy Eliott)
who loves the sober minded Frank Harcourt (Kenn Johnson) but has been
promised in marriage to the foolish Mr. Sparkish (Peter Ross Stephens), an
ignorant fop who yelps for wit yet can say nothing witty himself. Stephens
turns in an eye-catching performance as the foppish dullard and very nearly
steals the show. Tatum handles the ribald humor with flair, and costume
designer Denise Nakamura adds hilarity with the outrageousness of the
gentlemen's wigs. Hayworth Theatre, 2511 Wilshire Blvd., L.A.; Thurs.-Sat.,
8 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.; thru May 30. (323) 969-1707. An Ark Theatre Company
produciton. (Sandra Ross)

As for me, it's been a hectic couple of days. Where in the F did the time go? The Artist's Way has challenged me this week to not read. Reading is the perfect filler of time, and quite the distraction. You know what I read a lot? Facebook! Argh! So addicted. So no books, no blogs, no Facebooking, magazines, no idle time fillers. Why, you may ask? So as not to get distracted from your artistic creative side. This is good, as it will allow me to work on figuring out how to format this blog and all that I want to do. Soon enough, I might ask for some tech support as my brain starts to shut down. But that's a bridge I have yet to cross.

On top of it all, I left my nifty new phone at the theater on Sunday night. Just figured it out as I got to the car, and upon arriving back at the theater, (it had been 5, maybe 10 minutes at the most, and there were several people there as I left), it was dark, the lights were off and no one was home. I can't even get back to the theater until tonight! Facebook has been a major source of communication as well as distraction. Chatty Patty is going insane without a cell phone and without Facebook. My dad sent me an email this morning wondering what the heck I was doing. I'm asking myself the same question, I tell you. But look at me! I'm working on this epic project, I'm beginning to plot out the month ahead of time, and getting shit done. Woo. Amazingly enough, even keeping up with email correspondence can be a huge time suck. Not to mention, working! I find myself longing for the indepenance that unemployment gave me. But that's another topic.

As Jennifer Warren says, "Onwards and Sideways!" I feel a keen kinship to this phrase....

Experimenting With The Unknown

2009-05-20T20:53:00.000-07:00

Since I put out there the idea of a new blog, my head can't stop spinning with all that it could encompass. Lovely Readers, be aware that change is afoot! My plan for now is to merge the Creative Connections with my normal, ahem, I mean, "normal," life. If it turns out too cumbersome along the way, I'll let you know.

This week, heck just in this past day, all I've been doing is stretching myself beyond what I'm comfortable with. Whether literally - thank you Power Yoga, mentally - the act of learning theatrical sword fighting, or in the technological realm.

Yesterday, a Blackberry Storm was delivered unto me, thanks to my mommy. I am ever so full of gratitude and awe. And now, a little apprehension. I have to learn how to use this fantastic tool/toy to my advantage. Ack! Someone else make it go! But little by little, right? I'm also learning how to layout this Blogger page, and it's driving me a little batty. (What else is new, right Dad?). I usually reach a stopping point with the gadgets, and stop. But now it's time to keep pushing ahead. So I'm tackling a bit at a time. Patience is a virtue and all that.

Just think of it this way - The Muppets weren't perfect when they first came out, were they? Please bare with me while I go through this growing phase. I grow more and more excited each day about how far and wide this could go. I keep saying that if it weren't for my friends down here, I'd have move back home a long time ago. So, this is my way of giving back. :) There are so many, many things and people to know about! I truly hope this becomes a wealth of information.

Time For Something New

2009-05-19T11:35:00.000-07:00

The Artist's Way is going very well. Little by little I'm learning to enjoy my creative side again, and also even the art of letting go, and just playing.

I've also been doing lots of thinking. I know lots of Lovely and Talented people. They are all involved with Lovely and Talented projects. I keep wanting to make a posting about every other project I know of, every class I'm aware of, and trust me - there's a lot!

So... just to bounce the idea off of you folks, what do you think about my starting a new blog? It'd be like a resource for all my folks out here. Think about it, I can inform my friends of fellow actors, massage therapists, chefs, dancers, writers, photographers, events, performances, non-profit organizations..... That's quite amazing, isn't it?

I can't wait to get started, I just need a name for it. I'm open for ideas, it needs to have something to do connections, or a resource guide, .... Here's what I've come up with

Creative Connections
Patty Jean's List
A Resource Guide to the Pattyverse
My Lovely and Talented Friends

I dunno, they're all close, but not quite it. Let me know what you think!!! Please!!!!

Monsters Have Feelings, Too

2009-05-13T06:51:00.000-07:00

About a week and a half ago, I began The Artist's Way. It's a self-help book, you could say. It's a way for those of us feeling a little challenged to get back in tune with our creative side. Each chapter covers a week, and you examine and explore what and who you are. In general, you set time aside to write every morning, you take yourself on artist dates, and there are different tasks, big or small, to help you get in tune with yourself.

The first week was interesting. One of the tasks was to make a list of who your Monsters were. Who gave you the idea(s) that you weren't creative enough, that you weren't good enough? You list 'em, maybe write down an example, and then change those criticisms to affirmations. Crazily enough, I was stumped.

Who told me I was no good? Because I feel an honest apprehension about pursuing an acting career. Despite how much I want it, I am a feared. And you know what? After a ton of looking back, I think the last one to insult me and my talent, were my frenemies back in elementary school. I can't recall anyone saying I wasn't good, that I should give up. So really, aside from having assholes for friends back in school, it's ME telling myself all these negatives.

How did I learn to do this? Holy crap! I'm the only one who is getting in my way of achieving my dreams. Once I soaked that in, I knew that I had to change it. This is not an easy road to go down. My self-esteem has gotten pretty far wedged down. I find myself treating me to a positive thought, only to be followed by a negative one. Nuts, isn't it? It takes practice, I guess.

On Monday, I had a lovely heart to heart talk with a friend of mine who's been studying astrology for the past 5 years. We went over my chart. And aside from the given that I need small animals in my life (yay), and a 9 to 5 job would not be in my best interest, I learned some things about myself. You lovely readers make think this is a bunch of hooey, but trust me, this is no Times Daily Horoscope. It actually led to a lot more self-examination. I need a creative lifestyle, I need strong relationships in my life, I need independence. From the way it looked, she told me I had a lot going in my favor - but I just need to find my confidence and JUST DO IT.

I have a lot of fear and self-doubt. I need to work on that. I should know that I can apply myself in the direction that I want, and I can make things happen - good things. I think I need to find and prove to myself that I am worthy of these good things to come.

My plan for this summer is to apply myself in my creative outlets. Also, it's to find my self-worth. I'm going to continue The Artist's Way - it's a 13 week, um, exploration, you could say. And I'm only in the middle of week 2. I'm digging it.

Oh, and by the way, I apparently have a strong compulsion to Save the World. And you know what? That's very true. I've always liked to help out. Maybe I can find a nice way to weave that into my creative compulsion.

All Better Now

2009-05-08T12:46:00.000-07:00

The 7-11 guy remembered me today. I got my Rolos.

YUM!!

So soft, so chewy....so perfect.

Harrumph

2009-05-07T12:57:00.001-07:00

On Monday, the vending machine gypped me of my bag of Fritos.

Today, after spending time deciding over which candy bar to treat myself, I decided on Rolos. Mmm, Rolos.

The dude from 7-11 forgot to pack it in my bag, and yet he charged me for it. I didn't realize it until 20 minutes later, happily sated off of my smoked turkey sandwich, that it wasn't there. It's too late, I can't go back. And here's me craving some chocolate and caramel.

Harrumph.

I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse, but I say verily unto you, harrumph.

My Daddy Just Sent This to Me!!

2009-04-30T12:49:00.000-07:00

LOVE YOU!!!!!

Makes Me Happy

2009-04-26T23:05:00.000-07:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Since I turned 32....

2009-04-21T09:30:00.000-07:00

It's time to catch up! It's been a non-stop roller coaster of work and getting a show up on its feet since my bday.

To sum up the bday - Turning 32 was pretty meh. I worked all day at a Freshi Film Camp - and teaching to a group of squiggly-wiggly 6 to 10 year olds was a bit trying. Especially since I hadn't had any caffeine, and by the end of that work day I got a withdrawal migraine. Yuck. After some Excedrine and lots o' caffeine I was able to manage being a slightly normal human being for rehearsal. My cast family was very sweet and sung Happy Birthday to me, and quietly at that. That Saturday, Steph made a delicious cake - yellow cake with chocolate frosting and peanut butter! I think that cake, my friends, and this, (from one of the kids at the Film Camp), were my highlights:
Hogan was the most adorable red-headed boy with glasses, and very sweet disposition. He really wanted to make sure he would fill out the reports every day of what we did, (even if he needed every word spelled out), and loved working the camera. He made my birthday note right after it was announced that it was my birthday. Awwww.

As for the opening of The Country Wife, everything that could happen in the two weeks opening a show could. Costume malfunctions, (or a lack of them), actors not off book until the night before opening, yadda, yadda. And for this past weekend? The A/C broke, the sound system or some such fuse was blown, and on Friday night - with a packed house - there was smoke, a smell of burning, and no sound for the end of the show. Despite all that, I think we did have a good weekend of shows, and even though we were all ready to die of heatstroke, the audience always left with smiles on their faces. I'll add pictures from opening and backstage over time....

I also took the CBEST last Saturday. That's the test one takes in California if they want to be a substitute or a full-time teacher. No, I didn't study and brush up on my fractions. I have no idea how I did. The nice thing is that you can re-take the sections that you missed. I'm just praying to the CEBST gods that I passed it all. I won't find out unofficial scores until May 4th.

Mentally, I feel that I'm behind in everything - from reading, to my laundry, to my working out, and I want to catch up, I just don't know if I will soon. And it's frickin' hot right now. LA has been blessed with No Spring - just straight to SUMMER. Makes it very hard to concentrate. And plans for summer are starting to pop up, and if I don't get that in order soon, I think my head will explode. So much to do, so little time. It's a constant theme, I just need to get over the stress of it all and be happy I'm doing fun things.

But I would like a break. Two days in a row - sleep the first day, let brain just meander through books and whatnot, and the second day, I'll do my laundry and reorganize my life. Let's see if it's in the cards.

How's that for a sum-up? Did I miss anything?

On the Eve of My 32nd Birthday

2009-04-07T17:38:00.000-07:00

My update!!!

In 24 hours, I will turn 32!!!

I have to mail my taxes to my mom - but I don't have the cash to mail it since I'm overdrawn. Eck.

I've been teaching 14 kids aged 7 to 10 for the past two days - I need a nap - and it won't get quiet until this weekend.

Genie is taking me out tonight for a birthday dinner/movie.

Tomorrow I have rehearsal.

Mom & Dad sent me a box - I can't open it until tomorrow!!! And another one is supposed to come on Thursday.

Thursday night I have off of rehearsal - so I can help paint the set.

I need to study for the CBEST which is coming up, and I keep forgetting about it - it's very tempting to not do it - but that's just silly.

I will be feasting on rice, canned veggies and leftover frozen chicken breasts until I get paid next.

I miss you guys.

The show is shaping up nicely, I think it'll be a hit.

I have been in a humdrum restless mood for the past few days, and I think my birthday will help bring me out of it - otherwise - I'd be working on a Funk.

My room looks like it was hit by a tornado.

I miss working out - but sleep seems more important.

It's very hard to feel like I've lost weight and I look better than I did, when I have to wear a huge, fluorescent green polo shirt that is 2 sizes too big for me, and kids love to film me!!! Ack!

I can't wait for the birthday celebration to begin!!!

Alright, I'm Grateful, I'm Grateful, I'm Grateful!

2009-04-01T21:59:00.000-07:00

Before my head hits the pillow tonight, I'm going to infuse my sleep with Gratitude.

I'm grateful:
-That my car was fixed
-That Mom & Dad could take care of it this time
-That my friends and co-workers didn't mind driving me around
-That work, Midas, and Jake's place were all within easy bus/walking distance to each other
-That Edelweiss didn't break anything as she just fell off of her window perch
-That Jake has allowed me to use his WiFi and I can type in bed
-That I've figured out how to record my lines and listen to them on my iPod
-That last night I got to bond with friends from my Project 22
-For my jobs at Actors Access and Freshi Films
-For my friends, new and old, they keep me going
-For the heater in Jake's room
-That Edelweiss has finally deemed me worthy of talking to, and allowed me to scritch her - even if it's late at night
-That I have friends that allow me to pet sit for them
-For being surrounded by good people on my birthday, despite that I don't get to spend it in Disneyland
-That I still have a chance to work towards a dream, despite how scary it is out here in the real world

And now, sleep.....

It's Really Hard to be Pollyanna Right Now

2009-03-31T09:39:00.000-07:00

Whenever a friend is having a hard time, I try really hard to find the positive. For example, Trina had locked herself out last night while walking Scruffles. She called me to get the key, and I'm thinking at least she had her cell phone so she could call me. At least Lorelei lives close to us, so she could get a ride over to me. It helps make the world a brighter place. Some people don't want the sunshine shoved up their ass when they're in a funk, and I respect that. Later, if they're so willing, I'll add in my Pollyanna Two Cents, and it seems to help a bit.

It's really hard to do this for myself. Especially when it comes to my lack of funds and when my car takes affect on the lackage. (Yeah, I know that's not a word).

Two weeks ago, I had to take my car in for a strange rattling sound that shouldn't be ignored. My parents helped me pay for it. If they hadn't, I'd be taking a bus and learning to ride public transit from West LA to the Valley, and hassling my friends for rides home. I know lots and lots of people take public transit. Monica did it for months, bless her heart. You need a car to live in this town, because taking the damn bus is not convenient!! Every time my car has some problem that's not a flat and not getting in an accident, I freak out. FREAK.OUT. (I'm so used to those other annoying problems. It's why I have AAA, so it's taken care of).

The point of all this? My car again died last night making strange noises as I pulled into the neighborhood of where I'm cat-sitting. An overwhelming sense of doom flooded over me. Again? I don't have money to pay for this shit. My folks are running out of their own funds, and I'm not helping. Every worst-case scenario starts popping in my head. For just this week alone, not having a car accessible is going to screw me royally. Thank god I'm in a show with people who live close to me.

I am ready to just break down and cry and give up. Is this some Divine Test? WTF am I supposed to do? Keep pushing forward, right? Well, it really doesn't seem like I can do that right now. I'm barely hanging in there as it is. My sanity has reached its peak. I really, really want to just give up. I'll be a working drone in a cubicle. Obviously, money is more important than pursuing one's dreams. Despite the genorosity of my friends these past few months, maybe I'm just a waste of time and effort.

Agh. Ugh. I hate feeling like this. It's really, really hard for me to have something to think positively about. Right now it's hard to feel grateful. Because everything right now just keeps revolving in the same circles. Blagh.

Of course, I could just be over-reacting, and it'll be a nice simple thing to be fixed, it'll cost less than $100, and I can keep on, keepin' on. Maybe I should still put the Acting Dream on hold and just frickin' work. Be a drone for an office. Get my financial feet on the ground. It'll be soul-killing, but it would maybe a good change of pace to not get in a place like this. I volley back and forth every time. I still can't make up my mind.

Really, I'd like a miracle to happen. That'd be awesome. Someone gives me a lot of money to be an actor. Someone gives me a brand new car. A Knight in Shining Armor arrives, whisks me away, and all my troubles are gone - I live in splendor, my family does as well, my Knight and have wonderful fulfilling lives, we travel, we have multitudinous children for my parents to finally be grandparents, I fly my friends all over the world - and I have a car that's good to the environment, has power windows, and has a nice stereo system. Really, is that so much to ask? Haven't I earned that yet? Sigh.

I have to say, I feel a bit better for venting this all out there. Sorry you had to read it. The stress level has gone down a bit, and now I just wait and see what the outcome is. Aarrgh.

Time....

2009-03-30T10:40:00.000-07:00

The finger is hanging in there. I now feel comfortable walking around without a band-aid on. I have been documenting it, and hope to do a silly little photo essay on the progress it goes under. Right now, it still hurts when I bang it, and it feels a bit numb. It's strange to say the least.

It has occurred to me that I will not have a free weekend until June. While this means I'm involved in a fantastic show with wonderful friends - I'm a little bummed. Because it's just hit me that for the past 6 weeks I've been involved with 2 other shows! Gee, I wonder why my brain has felt a bit fried the past month. Working on 3 shows at a time is a wee time consuming. Yeah, I've been doing Project 22, and rehearsing for The Country Wife, but every weekend for the past 5 weeks, I've been backstage helping change costumes. 3 shows at once. I get it now.

I want to get in a visit to my family, but it looks like the only way I'm going to do that is take time off work, and that's a bit of a bummer since money is tight anyway. But onwards and sideways, I can make it work. .... Just as long as my car does. If you have free prayer time, let it go to the Car Gods.

Hey, I'm turning 32 next week! (On Wednesday the 8th, for those of you keeping track at home). Crazy! I may be getting older, but I don't think I'm growing up. I would love to take advantage of Disneyland letting me attend for free on my birthday, but it's just not in the cards. I have to work, and there's a run-through of my Country Wife show. I think my birthday celebration will come with friends while playing on stage. I won't even have time to make weekend celebrations. C'est la vie. Last year it was celebrated by watching Young Frankenstein with good friends at the Ark, and then a birthday dinner at Cafe 50s with other good friends. Maybe when I hit 35 I'll have a big party. It'll be on a Friday then - it'll be perfect.

Aside from craving Free Time where I get to bask in doing nothing, (because everything's been taken care of - like laundry), I crave pampering. Months and months without massage and a facial is torture, I'm telling you. Some of you may think that's a bit indulgent, and maybe it is, but it's good for the soul, and valuable for a healthy state of being. It becomes more and more apparent as my back is not letting me turn my neck too far in either direction, my face is breaking out, and I ache. Blach. One day, one day soon, I hope....

There's lots in the air, I hope to concentrate on the good so it'll keep feeding and growing into more Good in all areas of my life. I'll keep you posted.

Things and Things

2009-03-24T09:23:00.000-07:00

Every day, my actor friends and I are trying to figure out ourselves and what we're really pursuing. Is it right? Should I have left town? Do I work 5 part-time jobs so I can go audition and be in theater and or films? Do I just ignore the money issue and just go, go, go? These questions seem to be the constant themes in our lives, even for those of my friends who do book commercials and/or scenes - we're in a constant state of WTF am I doing with my life?

So here's me trying to find a balance. On top of all those questions, I'm beginning to figure out how to manage my stress, working out, trying to appreciate my body, working out, eating better, etc., etc. All these higher concepts of Life, the Universe, and Everything Else....

This morning, I get up early enough to make myself some food and prepare a hopefully tasty lunch of chicken and salad. I'm boiling eggs for breakfast.... I find that I can't open the bag of salad, I can't find scissors to open the bag, and so I grab a big sharp knife to open the bag. And what do I proceed to do? Open the bag and my left index finger. The tippity top of the finger is gone. So there's me trying to hold calm while I'm bleeding profusely and searching for band-aids in the apartment where I'm house-sitting, and kittens are following me back and forth, hopping on the counter where I've finally found band-aids.... I finally get myself bandaged up. I put an icepack around my finger so it's numb.... But now I need to get the eggs out, since they are so hard-boiled by now. I go to grab the handle with my other hand...ouch! I forgot - the pot handle gets hot and I need a mit to grab it! So now I've slightly burnt my right hand!

And what does this all mean?

It means pay the fuck attention to what you're fucking doing, Patty!!! Don't get so caught up in all the bullshit that is running around in your little head.

I find it amazing that I've been able to survive this long. I think I wouldn't do so well to carry on the human race if it wasn't for modern technology. If it was me stranded on a deserted island, I don't think I'd last longer than a week. Just sayin'.....

For Stephaine and Sadi (& My Family)

2009-03-19T13:13:00.001-07:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

A Long Time In the Making

2009-03-16T12:08:00.000-07:00

When I first moved down to Los Angeles in October '05, I was at the heaviest I've ever been in my life. I weighed 234. I think it just accumulated over time for whatever reasons, and I felt like I could never work out. When I moved and I was ready to begin exercising, I joined Curves and kept track of my weight loss. I had initially lost about 30 pounds, and gained back about 10 and just plateaued forever and a day.

We're sedentary people, we Robinsons. We like being active, sure, but we prefer to stay home and watch movies. We also like to munch on the yummy stuff. Put that together, and over time of course, we Robinsons are full of a lot of love and fluff.

I've always thought it was important to lose weight for yourself - not for anyone else - not for a bet - just for when you're ready to do it. Which I guess it's why it's taken me this long to get my butt in gear. I submit to you Exhibit A:

I was a big girl.

It's kinda neat to know that I've come such a long way. There are times it really feels like I haven't changed and all, and I'm not happy with the way I look now. A couple of weeks ago I was pretty upset with myself and how I looked when all the pictures for Project 22 came out. I thought I looked horrible. I was in a bit of a funk. And then I found a DVD from a Jepoardy audition I did before I moved. And it put everything in perspective. Sure, I looked like a nice girl, but I also was extremely uncomfortable in my body, and boy did it show in how I was holding myself.

Fast forward to meeting Genie last summer and our crazy desire to run a marathon. I've lead a more active life than I've ever had, and I've started eating better as well. (Look Mom and Dad, I'm eating broccoli! Mmmm). Only now has it just started to kick in that I'm feeling better than I thought I could. I'm actually looking forward to working out, because Genie's my inspiration on how nice and buff she's gotten just from doing yoga. Not to mention all the hiking and running that she does....

This past weekend I went shopping for the first time in a long time. Money's been short, and finally my last pair of jeans just gave up. It was time. And oh my god, what a pleasure to fit into clothes that I've never been able to fit into! For you women folk out there, I used to wear an 18, and now I'm at a 12. Holy Schnizzle. I used to think this was the ideal that I wanted to get myself down to - as of this morning I weighed 183. I've lost 51 pounds! Again, Holy Gee Wow. Now I know I'm feeling better, and people are telling me I'm looking better, but I find that I don't want to stop here. I want to keep going. The BMI says the ideal weight for me is around 130 to 140. At 190 it still said I was Obese. But now, now it says I'm just Overweight. So that's nice. It's an improvement.

I know it's not all about numbers. It's how you feel. Well, I want to keep feeling good. And I want to feel better! And here's the most recent picture of me that I can find. No, I'm not svelte, but it's better than it was.
This is from the opening night of Project 22, two weeks ago. I don't usually try and talk numbers about my weight. It makes me feel uncomfortable. And, yeah, I'm still pretty uncomfortable in my body. But I think I'm going to let myself feel a bit of pride right now. I didn't think it was really possible for me to feel good about myself. I didn't think it was possible for me to lose weight. Yeah, I know my arms still have that "Grandma Arm Syndrome" but it's all a process. And I'm just telling myself that it will get better over time if I just keep this up. So hear's to just keeping this up.

What the F Have I Been Up To?

2009-03-11T10:05:00.001-07:00

Life has gotten pretty busy lately, I must say. Between two jobs, and two shows in the works, keeping on my life has taken a back burner. I find that really, the only time to play on the computer and blog is now down to happening at work. Of course, I've been holding that off for quite sometime, because who wants to blog at work, especially since I don't have a cubicle and I'm all exposed.....

The two jobs are working for Actors Access answering phones and providing technical support to those who have no clue. Working for Freshi is endearingly fun, as I get to play with elementary school kids and teach them how to make films. Funnily enough, those kids know more than I do on how to use the equipment and are teaching me.

The two shows are my first improv show at The Hothouse - Project 22. I've been taking improv classes since last summer, and at this point, it's like graduation. Of course, we're all still learning what it's like to perform, which is really the point of the whole show. And boy oh boy, is it fun and scary all at the same time. It's definitely something to get used to and learn about.That's the poster for our show. Mom doesn't like that you can't see me as well. So here's another fun one:

The other show I'm involved with is The Country Wife with the Ark Theatre Company. It's a restoration comedy, and since last year our production of The London Cuckolds went over so well, we figured we'd do it again. As in last year's show, I get to play the saucy maid. We're just two weeks into rehearsals, and it's gonna be pretty damn fun. Luckily enough, we have a lot of the same fun people from last year and some wonderful new additions. Gonna be lots of fun with lots of costumes. Whoopee!!

I've also been trying to get back on track with working out. I'm struggling to alternate yoga and jogging every other day. Some weeks are good, some not so much. My running has taken a downward turn. Sad, isn't it? Just a couple of weeks ago I ran 3 miles for the first time ever. And it's been hell trying to get back to that. Luckily enough, Genie and I are so strapped for cash we haven't signed up for any marathons, so there are no impending dates. I guess the point is to just keep training and when we're ready to sign up, training to get up tot 26 miles won't be as difficult. Unfortch, I've been eating lots and lots of crappy food lately. And I felt like I had no will power. So Genie and I have gone back on the Kirsch Diet we did last fall. No carbs, lots of veggies and good protein from turkey, chicken, or fish. And since I don't like fish, it's just chicken and turkey for me! Right now we're on the 5th day out of 14. It's not as bad this time around. Still tricky, yes, but this time not as torturous. We'll see how I feel around day 9.

Money is still tricky. I still get by on the grace and generousity of friends by trading massage or they actually pay me for massage. I am still planning on taking the CBEST, my friend Anna helped pay for the test, and I owe her. Of course, just because I take the test, it doesn't mean that I'll be a substitute teacher overnight. So in the meantime, I'm ignoring the debt collectors and making sure that I can pay my rent, buy food and take care of my phone. I also have people to pay back since they loaned me money. I'm more worried about being in debt to friends than to businesses. Lord knows my friends need it more than those other guys.

Life is good though. I'm surrounded by good people, I have a roof over my head, and I get furry friends to amuse me. So, I'm not rolling in the dough (yet), I'm grateful for what I have, and I know I'm on the right road for more abundance in my life.

The LA Arborteum - Ooh!

2009-02-09T18:10:00.000-08:00

On Saturday, Stephaine called to see if I wanted to go with her to a magical place called the Los Angeles Arborteum. And lo, it was beautiful! Here are some pictures from the day, taken by cell phone. I'm impressed with how well they turned out. Also, I sent these along to my folks, throughout the day they just kept getting random pics. :)

This first shot is an awesome peacock. They were all over the place!!! And very fun to look out. They haunted the first part of the park, and it was fun to see them upstairs and down. There were a bunch of hens, and they looked like they were playing tag among the bushes. We found it highly amusing.

There was a mini waterfall. While Steph was climbing the rocks and getting in for closer angles to capture an awesome moment, I just sat back and let the vibe wash over me. Boy, it felt really good to sit there for a minute.

But we continued on, walking around all sorts of trees that I couldn't name to save my life. Not many were in bloom, but there were some fantastic looking trees. I think we'll go back in April or May to walk through all over again.

I can't believe how pretty everything was. This little part just felt like it was out of a fairy tale. I couldn't help but try to capture how pretty it was.
Of course, then I had to have proof that I was really there.

Look, it's really me!

Here is a lovely magnolia tree. I guess they bloom in the winter time. We found as we were walking around that there are some Maple trees. How, you may ask? My the scent! Oh my stars, do they ever smell good! We couldn't find them, though! We were hunting them down by the scent, but just couldn't find them. We were so sad. And then we were so hungry for some syrup and waffles!!

Here is a close up of some blossoms off of another Magnolia tree. So pretty.

We were able to go into a couple of hothouses. Lots of pretty, pretty flowers. Here's one of my favorites, I loved the dotted print on this flower. I'm so glad it showed up.

I found it interesting, there were lots of people roaming around and having their pictures taken. Newlyweds were in several places. And there was a pair of kids in the hothouse with us. They looked like they were dressed for prom, but then again, what do I know?

Sadly, Steph and I couldn't find the "Orchid Carnivourous Plants" that were advertised. This also followed our disappointment of no turtles in the Turtle Pond, and no Maple Syrup at the ready.

Before we left, we spent quite some time at their duck pond, watching kids and their parents feed some duckies. These ducks were awesome looking! They're Mandarin Ducks. No, I got this pic from the internet. They moved too fast for me to snap a good shot with my phone. They were in high competition with some giant Kot brutes. Man, it got ugly out there. But the little girls were having a blast.

Another handsome lad. Ignoring me and my camera. I kept wanting to get a nice shot of them close up, but they kept moving on me. I even tried to get one guy from the back. The way his feathers looked when they were all folded up on each other was absolutely amazing. Alas, I was too slow and my camera couldn't get in a decent zoom. Plus, it was too slow as well.

One our way out, here was one more show off. I was so lucky to have this guy pose for me!

And... here's the Business End. Aren't we glad he decided to turn around? I know you've always wanted to see the underside of a peacock.

If I'm able to, I'll post some pictures from Steph's camera. She was able to get some really nifty shots. Plus, if we're lucky, there's a fantastic picture of me and a kangaroo. :) Hope you all enjoyed my little photo essay! It was a bit time consuming in posting it all, but still rather fun.

Politically Speaking

2009-01-20T10:22:00.000-08:00

For the first time ever, I watched as a President of the United States was sworn in.

I keep thinking that if someone like me, who is normally ignorant of politics, who willfully tunes out when the subject is brought up, can sit and watch a President be sworn in, then there is something amazing happening.

No, I don't know about all of his policies, and yes, I do know that people think he will bring the country down and have no respect for him. But because he is the first African-American to be president the country has changed. I think he is an incredibly smart man from his speeches alone. Not only does he know how to deliver them without sounding ignorant, this is a man who knows the importance of inspiring others.

I know some of us wonder if we're putting too many eggs in one basket. Placing all our hopes onto one man is a little much. He's only one man! But to hear him speak - how can you not be hopeful? Do you know what I think is amazing? He knows we're in difficult times, he knows that everyone is putting all their hopes on him - and yet - he's making sure to tell everyone, and often, that it's gonna take a village. When was the last time we had a president who tries to inspire people to work together for a better country and government? Who was the last president who tried to not only better the government, but tried to better people of our country?

I like that Obama has been telling us up front that he knows it's gonna take a long time for things to feel better - economically, politically, and globally. I'm so glad he's acknowledging it. Yes, he is a symbol of change, but just because he's the first black man in that seat, it doesn't mean he's the only to save our country from ourselves. We have to keep voting, we have to keep voicing our differing opinions, and we have to keep helping others as well as ourselves. How will you try to help others? Will you have a bake sale for the Vets? Will you sell embroidered hand towels to help fund the local high school's music program? What can you do to help your life be a better one? How can I make my life better by helping others?

These are huge questions and the answers can be long and complicated. I don't want the weight of the world on my shoulders, I'm sure Obama really doesn't either. So you do what you can, right? A little goes a long, long way. I have often been overwhelmed at the idea of volunteering. Luckily for people like me, there are lots of areas to volunteer in. I'm choosing to read to kids.

How did this turn into a ramble about volunteering?

What I like about Obama is that he something new for people to pay attention to. His prescence alone is causing people to look around and see things for the first time. I'm pretty sure Bush Jr. didn't inspire that. I just hope that people see this man and respect him and our government that made it possible for him to be president. I hope that if you don't like something you know you have to the right to work for change, to debate with your friends and family. I hope that you're inspired to..., to.... I just hope you're inspired. I think this country is ready to be inspired again, and to make strives forward.

I'm excited.

Hrm....

2009-01-16T20:47:00.000-08:00

It's Friday and I ain't got shit to do.

Well... no, that's not true. A friend is throwing a party tonight because she's leaving town to pursue bigger and better things. And while I know it'd be good to get out and go, I'm debating. I'm debating this whole weekend.

What do you do when you have little cash? Do you stay home and watch TV and read? This is highly tempting, especially since I am house-sitting for Steph and Ryan. (They have quite the lovely flat screen TV - it's huge!). Part of me doesn't want to be a hermit. The idea of being a hermit this whole weekend actually bums me out. But maybe, maybe I should be a little more practical.

Here it is, the 16th of the month. My first check for Freshi Films won't come until the end of the month. I only have about $40 in the bank, I need to put gas in the car, and I need to make this cash last. I'm holding out that I will raise the money for rent, (I did it last month, didn't I?), but what if I don't? What if all I have leftover for this month is $240? That would mean that I didn't go buy gas, it would mean I didn't travel anywhere unless absolutely necessary. It means that I would take myself out of a social atmosphere that I do know I need to exist. Every little bit counts right now - the mileage of my car is huge, especially as I have a quarter of a tank left. Going across town to visit a friend when I have no money to spend may not be wise. Granted, if I had the cash, I'd go in a heartbeat. I can't carpool, I'm out of everyone's way. Would she be heartbroken that I didn't go? Not necessarily. I know she'd be bummed, but I also know I wouldn't break her heart.

Much of the weekend is like this. There are events that would be fun to go to, (workday for the Ark, a movie screening at Freshi, the first night of 3 shows at The Hothouse, Monica's birthday, and a hike with Genie, followed by another show of improv on Sunday). This is a full weekend of fun. None of it costs a lot. But by the time I finish driving back and forth between the Valley and the Westside, by the time I finish paying for shows - I'd be broke until I get paid next, at the end of the month.

Money is not easy. I've decided that it's not what I need to be happy, as witnessed by last month, getting horribly sick and depressed working an eight hour day. I can't rely on my friends to always come and rescue me, (as they heroically did last month), I can't hope that money will come out of the woodworks and I'll be able to pay my rent and then some. I think I need to be practical.

I've been reading a wonderful book, (recommended by my fantastic friend Darin), called "Mindset," by Carol S. Dweck. This book talks abouthow one can approach the challenges in life - whether it be about intelligence, relationships, business, etc. The Fixed Mindset basically sees a limit to what it can learn. If it doesn't get a problem right away, doesn't figure out how it works, it gives up and thinks very little of Itself. The Growth Mindset sees a challenge as a chance to grow, it looks forward to the challenge, it knows that failing just means you're learning, and you have to work harder, and it welcomes working harder. So I think the thing to do here is email my friend my apologies. And then, knowing that the lack of money is what has gotten me here, take this opportunity to earn more and challenge myself by working on the massage business. Because it's all I have left to do.

As for the rest of the weekend, I'm still debating. I think I might not go out to The Valley, or spend the gas to go out and bond with people at Freshi since it's not mandatory. I won't go to The Ark and help out for the same reasons. Now, the next debate is Monica and her birthday. She's my roomie. I think I need to go, I think I have to go. I don't want to hurt her or disappoint her.

These are the hard things in Life. Do I look back on this night and reflect, "Coulda, shoulda, woulda?" Will I be satisfied with my choice? Probably not. Hell, I might even go later, you never know. But I think it's best to rein myself in and not act on a whim. I'm going to tell myself this will get better, because it has to. I knew that when this year started, there would be challenges along the way. I still know it, and I know I have to get through them so I can make this year truly great.

In the great words of Jennifer Warren, "Onwards and Sideways!"

Patty Jean's Running Wish List

2009-01-13T15:27:00.000-08:00

As you know, I'm crazy to start this, "I want to run a 26.2 marathon," endeavor. In light of Amy the Writer's recent blog about zombie apocalypses, I'm also doing this so I can run long and far, far away from those brain eating creeps.

Genie, my running-partner-in-crime, and I often talk about strategies to run better. Lately, we've been talking about shoes. And as I went jogging for the first time in a week, I was reminded how I need several items to make running a more productive and pleasant experience.

Awesome Running Shoes
Knee brace
New armband for my iPod
An iRun nifty pedometer thingy
Clothes that wick
Sunblock
A Road ID, because those things are just a cool idea, and a good one

'Tis not an easy list to come by, for one such as myself. I'm friggin' broke. But with promises of my new job and places to teach, and promises of massage clients building, and getting actor gigs, I know that these are not out of reach. I just have to be patient. That's all. In the meantime, I have to not go crazy, especially concerning my knees and feet. Don't want to fuck myself over before I even get to run a 5k!

By the way, our first planned 5k is February 1st, that's right - Super Bowl Sunday. We'll go run, pass out, and then watch the big game.

Now...on to some stretching, (and don't even get me going about a Yoga Wish List!).

This pic just cracks me up.

2009-01-12T22:26:00.000-08:00

For all you non-dinosaur believing people out there. Jesus even loves the velociraptors. They need love, too!

1/9/09 Hello Again!

2009-01-09T22:21:00.000-08:00

I've been meaning to put in a post since the New Year. Yet, I kept putting everything off since I wanted time to write up everything. And the longer I went without writing, the more I needed to add, and the less I wanted to spend hours typing out a blog.

Today, it occurred to me that if I keep waiting, I'll never post anything! So here's the new goal: post as the ideas hit me - doesn't matter if it's one a day, ten, or once a week. That way, it won't build up again. As for what I've missed topic-wise the past couple of days? I've never been so excited to start a new year, I feel very positive about everything that's coming my way, and I got a new job!

Today's random story:

This past week, all I've been talking about with Genie is how I wish I had more cash, so I could do some real grocery shopping. Get me some good, healthy food. Like veggies, and meat, and milk, and juice. (Mom & Dad bought me some staples of food to help me out when I visited. I can't believe how helpful that's been!). So, here's me, with a check for $250, an amount I haven't seen in months, and I can't believe how excited I am that I can take out $60 and get a huge amount of food from Trader Joe's. I get more veggies than I normally do, treat myself to string cheese, chicken stir fry, and multi-grain english muffins, and the best tofu corndogs that money can buy. I was so good, I spent $52! Woo hoo! Lots of good foods and with cash left over! What should do with the $7 and change? Save it for a rainy day? Nope. I get out of Trader Joe's, and drive right next door to Wendy's and order the chicken nugget meal. Large.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

12/12/08 - Here We Go

2008-12-12T05:16:00.000-08:00

Oh, dear, I've started another blog. I was keeping up on MySpace, but, well.... Maybe it's best to have a blog that doesn't need a social network to support, que no?

I've been thinking about doing this for awhile, with the idea of ranting and raving however I so choose. I'd like to challenge myself to be open and not censor a single thought with regards to who reads this. For example, do my brother and dad really want to know my thoughts on bikini waxing? Should be an interesting post, to be sure.

For now, I'm just going to keep this simple and say that nothing is simple right now. Life is definitely taking a turn and I don't know where to. When I start to stress out, it seems like my body handles it in a myriad of ways: I get nightmares, usually concerning zombies; I can't sleep, just like tonight, (this morning?); I break out. Right now, I'd prefer zombie dreaming versus the other two options, but no such luck.

See, awhile ago I decided that I needed to quit my two jobs. I wasn't happy being a personal assistant, and I wasn't happy working as a massage therapist. I was also tired of this independent work, as I am not too keen on bookkeeping and taxes, and have screwed myself royally in that department. I thought, I'll get an office job! Won't that cure all? I'll get one job, work 9 to 5, and it'll be SO easy to get it!

Not so much.

There were other factors in quitting. I had a friend who I lined up to take over for me as a personal assistant. She was working 3 jobs, shitty hours, and was still not making enough. She knew she could cut back and survive on two if I let her take over for me. She was on the verge of moving out, and truth to be told, I was just sitting on my ass. So I decided that she could take over for me, and I'll just bump up my hours at the day spa I'm at. Well, talk about bad freaking timing. Let's have our recession officially hit, why don't we? People don't want to spoil themselves, people don't spend money, and day spas can't pay their therapists.

It's been an interesting couple of months, I tell ya. I've sent out more resumes than I ever have before. I've signed up through 3 temp agencies, all to no avail, and the only thing that is keeping me afloat right now is the kindness of my friends. Granted, I'm offering them massage in return, but they could easily decide not to help me. I am definitely at their mercy, otherwise, I'm pretty sure that Mom would get her wish, and I'd move up home.

I feel that if I can just make it through this month, I'll be all right. I've never been so lacking in money before. It's amazing that I'm really in the position to decide whether to spend $20 on gas or food. And let's not even talk about my bills! What I'm earning through friends and the occasional temp job is all going towards saving up for rent for this month. There are times I just would like to sit and cry and stress the fuck out.

The tricky thing is to keep positive. There are times I could just sit and cry with the gratitude I feel. It is sometimes a huge effort to just make myself get up and surround myself with the things or people that make me happy. Sometimes I actually do sit down and make a list of all the good things in my life so I know it's not all crap. And it works! Until the next round of Bummerness hits.

Tonight's insomnia was from a combination of everything. Of course, stressing over how you're not getting enough sleep, and stressing over stressing while you run out of time to sleep in, is never helpful.

This first post has not really been as fun as I'm hoping my other ones will be. But it is what it is. I can't wait to figure out how Blogger works so I can do nifty things on it. I wonder...how does my brother upload his pics from his iPhone? Or is it the iPhone people only who are special enough to do that? Hmmm.

I shall end this first post with a little Dave Matthews Band. (Totally makes me happy, that can be another topic to go on and on about, trust me). It's a good little pick-me-up, just for me.

Whatever tears at us
Whatever holds us down
And if nothing can be done
We'll make the best of what's around