I first came across the idea last year, just a few short weeks after I had joined Weight Watchers. My meeting leader, Amy, brought it up. She was telling us how to be kind to ourselves as we learn about changing our eating habits for the better. WW really wants you to know that true weight loss is more than just a diet. If it's a true lifestyle change, there are many levels of learning, trying, failing, and learning again.
Somehow many of us have learned that failure means we're wrong, it means we're stupid, we're not good enough, etc., etc.
Maybe somewhere down the line, we started to believe the negative things we were told or felt, and whatever positive, supportive things we heard were easily dismissed. We started to believe the harsh things. We started to tell ourselves harsh things. We began clinging to the negative.
This can get philosophical real quick, and I can get lost in the rabbit hole of my own rhetoric.
Somewhere in my past, I believed the bad things said to me. I believed the world was a scary place, and I believed I deserved what I got, and asking more in life was outside my pay scale.
I cannot tell you how tired I am of that.
I do want more out of life. I know changes have to be made. I know I have to believe myself worthy. So when I came across the idea of self-compassion, something clicked. I got an audiobook of the book Amy recommended. Strangely enough, it's called Self-Compassion and it's by Dr. Kristen Neff. I found that it was great to listen to while I went out on morning walks. Soothing for the mind and the body, dontcha know.
I highly recommend it for anyone who beats themselves up. Could be for any reason, you could be a big financial success, fighting depression, an addiction, or just a actor trying to make a buck in a crazy competitive field. You could be in therapy or not, supported by a lovely group of friends, or feel that you're all alone.
I'm not a doctor, I'm just this girl who learned how to devalue herself better than anyone else could. It's also an amazing challenge to learn how to break that habit! I'm more bringing this up because I want other people to be nicer to themselves. It's easy for me to be compassionate to others. This is something that I usually try to keep to myself. But I'm learning to talk about it, because I see loved ones beating themselves up all the time. Stop it!
If you want to read the book by Dr. Neff, click here to find it on Amazon, and here it is on Audible.
If I can learn to be nicer to myself, you certainly can, too. Just be patient with yourself. If I find I can share more about an epiphany on self-compassion, I certainly will.