When I first moved down to Los Angeles in October '05, I was at the heaviest I've ever been in my life. I weighed 234. I think it just accumulated over time for whatever reasons, and I felt like I could never work out. When I moved and I was ready to begin exercising, I joined Curves and kept track of my weight loss. I had initially lost about 30 pounds, and gained back about 10 and just plateaued forever and a day.
We're sedentary people, we Robinsons. We like being active, sure, but we prefer to stay home and watch movies. We also like to munch on the yummy stuff. Put that together, and over time of course, we Robinsons are full of a lot of love and fluff.
I've always thought it was important to lose weight for yourself - not for anyone else - not for a bet - just for when you're ready to do it. Which I guess it's why it's taken me this long to get my butt in gear. I submit to you Exhibit A:
I was a big girl.
It's kinda neat to know that I've come such a long way. There are times it really feels like I haven't changed and all, and I'm not happy with the way I look now. A couple of weeks ago I was pretty upset with myself and how I looked when all the pictures for Project 22 came out. I thought I looked horrible. I was in a bit of a funk. And then I found a DVD from a Jepoardy audition I did before I moved. And it put everything in perspective. Sure, I looked like a nice girl, but I also was extremely uncomfortable in my body, and boy did it show in how I was holding myself.
Fast forward to meeting Genie last summer and our crazy desire to run a marathon. I've lead a more active life than I've ever had, and I've started eating better as well. (Look Mom and Dad, I'm eating broccoli! Mmmm). Only now has it just started to kick in that I'm feeling better than I thought I could. I'm actually looking forward to working out, because Genie's my inspiration on how nice and buff she's gotten just from doing yoga. Not to mention all the hiking and running that she does....
This past weekend I went shopping for the first time in a long time. Money's been short, and finally my last pair of jeans just gave up. It was time. And oh my god, what a pleasure to fit into clothes that I've never been able to fit into! For you women folk out there, I used to wear an 18, and now I'm at a 12. Holy Schnizzle. I used to think this was the ideal that I wanted to get myself down to - as of this morning I weighed 183. I've lost 51 pounds! Again, Holy Gee Wow. Now I know I'm feeling better, and people are telling me I'm looking better, but I find that I don't want to stop here. I want to keep going. The BMI says the ideal weight for me is around 130 to 140. At 190 it still said I was Obese. But now, now it says I'm just Overweight. So that's nice. It's an improvement.
I know it's not all about numbers. It's how you feel. Well, I want to keep feeling good. And I want to feel better! And here's the most recent picture of me that I can find. No, I'm not svelte, but it's better than it was.
This is from the opening night of Project 22, two weeks ago. I don't usually try and talk numbers about my weight. It makes me feel uncomfortable. And, yeah, I'm still pretty uncomfortable in my body. But I think I'm going to let myself feel a bit of pride right now. I didn't think it was really possible for me to feel good about myself. I didn't think it was possible for me to lose weight. Yeah, I know my arms still have that "Grandma Arm Syndrome" but it's all a process. And I'm just telling myself that it will get better over time if I just keep this up. So hear's to just keeping this up.